Yelling at another country’s politicians won’t solve your problems. Only cheap booze and an icy handjob from an alberta hooker can do that.

Carlos “sharpshooter” Slim is a former marine who goes into the jungles of any country with a jungle to save the daughter of the American embassador and ends up falling in love with her. Sadly, he’s a lone wolf and has to walk away. When will Carlos “sharpshooter” Slim know peace? Too bad they didn’t let five year…

I’m probably going to pay for this but...Hungry Hungry Hippos?

Barrow got hit by a bunch of vampires so...

I’m starting to wonder if my parents are the only people on the planet to have ever taught their children manners.

“I’ve pulled a splinter out before, I can deliver that baby AND remove that baby’s appendix!”

PP caters to lower income people, republicans believe they don’t deserve health care. They also provide birth control and sex education which allows women to have sex consequence free, by which I mean without getting pregnant. Babies are a form of punishment in America.

See, I dig the Joan of the Artics enough that I have to force my self to not wear them sometimes. They are very cosy.

It’s like that episode of Dexter’s Lab where they spoof Speed Racer and everyone is mourning DeeDee because they never look behind themselves (where she is standing for the entire episode).

I hope the actor drops to their knees, shakes their fists at the sky and screams “WHO IS PHONE!!!!” or I’m gonna sue.

And some people are stupid on purpose. If you think there aren’t some conservatives who are pretending this is about the word to distract from what people are really angry about, think again.

I dig ANY instance of a female performer being casually, effortlessly sex positive.

Yeah, not really a lawyer so thanks for the correction! Either way, I would love for one of them to address that, I’m just curious how they will feel.

Never thought I’d say this, but that owl is a total perv.

Look at her, hiding behind people and smiling cause that’s how she likes it. A wall of people between her and Trumpy Dearest.

The little fang poking out of the plastic is what makes that picture so awesome.

I can’t stop watching it!! I think I just had a snarkgasm.