“Don’t fuck up so badly you end up shooting someone and killing him” seems like, I don’t know, like the bare fucking minimum standard, yeah?  

100% just read that in her voice

California, you're doing amazing sweetie.

You want to call an autistic girl a retard, I’m right here, you dumb fuck.

She scares them because she is angry.

I’m more interested in retroactively controlling the birth rate of her mom.

They do.  He doesn’t care. 

I have a kid in middle school. He hangs out with really cool people.

I don’t know any kids like that.

So my gym had the Bob and Tom Show on today. (Yeah, I know.) Anyhoodle, they were talking about plastic surgeons doing a procedure to get rid of resting bitch face. I was like, give me the procedure that makes my resting bitch face bitchier.

I....get it. Just don’t make me LOOK straight into their eyes, goddamit.

Personally, I'm waiting for the instructions on how to indoctrinate a kid with Asperger's.  Cause my middle son is on the spectrum and I can't get him to do shit if he didn't think of it first.

I somehow got both the autism and the sarcasm.

But, but, but.....you get the health insurance AND the salary bump.

I thought that was the obvious flaw in Biden’s point as well.

My dad was a farmer in the 80s. He started over at 38, with no college education and no employment history outside of farming. He moved 7 hours away for training and while he did get to move back home after about 6 months, he still travels all over the country as a high-level and very well paid consultant.

Honey, the people born between 1945 and 1965 literally brought back the fucking monopolies and then demanded government bailouts when their too big to fail business ventures crashed and burned like everybody with any sense knew they would.

And increase wages.  You forgot increase wages.  

The....contracts. You mean, the contracts that GM made with its labor force, which it needs in order to.....have a labor force?

So boycott Clorox. And Quaker Oats.