Try the new Mini Gigantor, Mini Medium Size 4 Door Saloon, Mini Actually Small, Micro Penis, and Mini Roobber, to compensate for the Cooper.

I’m picturing this like a dramatic movie, the dog presses up against the fence, hurting, getting shocked, but he has to get somewhere. He pushes more, the fence begins to bend. Feeling close to freedom, he gives it every last bit of effort, sparks start shooting everywhere, a choir sings in the background, the sky is…

Top men.

The infield was tarped and fenced off, nobody was allowed to sit or walk there. I was at the show. Maybe he’s just looking for excuses as to why the Cubs continue to suck.

Hey man, you’re doing investigative journalimism stuff here. Lots of big companies have been taken down by investigative journalimism stuff. Don’t sell your efforts short.

I think Dan Lipinski might be Gollum

Is ... is that Leapin Lanny fucking Poffo?

I too have owned an inflatable Ben Wallace. It took nearly an hour to blow him up, left me dizzy, and he nearly immediately sprung a leak.

I never even considered that, even though Big Trouble is one of my favorite movies. I think I know what my next tattoo is.

Seriously though, fuck Gabriel.

Meatwad is more natural than whatever Subway puts in their roast beef.

I didn’t even realize how much this would work, thanks!

Kyle, can you just do all the Apple coverage for all Gawker sites from now on? This is the only article I’ve seen today that isn’t trying to fellate Apple for showing the world a hundred dollar pencil.

Well said, so much promise wasted.

There is no way in hell that anything with the Battle Chasers name will release in a timely manner, if at all. I love that the kickstarter promises that issue 10 will be released with the game. I was one of the 60,000 people that preordered issue 10 back when it was first announced, in 2001, according to wikipedia.…

I lived in Indianapolis for a year and a half. I like to say it was the closest thing I can think of to being in a coma. I’ve been to the South, been to Texas, Indianapolis can out redneck them all. God what a racist ignorant dump.

To be fair, Billy Gun looks way to stupid to be a terribly person. Can you be a terrible person if you have the personality of plasterboard?

Very good point, true crazies can’t read something unless it’s in ALL CAPS.

Exactly, today we’ll just drone bomb the hell out of people.

I really appreciate Zodiac Motherfucker’s method of keeping time. Pre-Freejack and Post-Freejack. Everyone should be thankful we live in a post-Freejack world.