"It's not tipping I believe in. It's overtipping."

"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be the assistant video coordinator at Gonzaga."

His JAR (Jizz Accuracy Rating) is a sky-high 187.2!

"They need to make raising the kid a virtual experience." - -My parents

Speaking of hung lo, damn, some Chinese would be good right now.

That's why Putin had the operation.

I got so pumped I high-fived my monitor.

Usually the Spanish announcers' table breaks easily.

I plan on going to the Around The Clock Pizza Cafe at 2 AM, and they damn well better be open.

The only reason this kid has made it big was winning the caddy tournament.

Totally.

"What, me worry?"

"I teach salad bar RESPECT, break its back, make it HUMBLE."

Matt is a dick, no doubt, but Ann Curry was terrible hosting that show.

"Seems like you might want to do a little of that, bud."

You mean just regular like like, or do you mean like like?

The title is the plot.

"Because you're the only one who gave me an interview in the first place. Asshole."

"I feel it's a good way to support the child I fathered with your daughter. The checks have started to bounce and hey, it's not like I wanna talk with her NOW, amirite?"