To deny the Illuminati exists is to strengthen it. By the transitive property, Kanye West has made Pusha T a member.
This Week in 'Million-Dollar' Biblical Archaeology Lawsuits: A Breakdown
Simcha Jacobovici, the Canadian documentary director who claimed in 2011 to have found two of the nails used to crucify Jesus, is suing archaeologist Joe Zias for libel. There are few things more enjoyable than fights between academics, particularly when one of the academics is being accused of pandering and…
The Revolutionary People's Liberation Party Front has taken credit for Friday's bombing at the U.S. Embassy in Ankara.
The inventor of the Etch A Sketch has died in France at 86.
This Week in Health Crises: 'River Blindness', a New Flu, and the FDA's Tylenol Warning
The world is not a safe place. You are, we trust, already doing what you can to protect yourself against the regular flu, but while you've been washing your hands until the skin on your knuckles begins to crack, the flu has been busy reinventing itself.
Kentucky police are looking for Richard Barnes, who broke into a family's home and "skinned" their cats before fleeing.
This Year's Illuminati-Super Bowl Connection is More Sinister Than Ever
How deep does the Super Bowl Illuminati rabbit hole go? As deep as all rabbit holes: straight into hell.
Dallas Police Very Close to Figuring Out What 'Molly' Is
Police officers in Dallas are on the brink of a major breakthrough: they're going to figure out what drug "Molly" is and where you're getting it.
Three Connecticut Cops Put on 'Desk Duty' After Beating Stunned Suspect in Public Park
Almost two years after beating a stunned and unresponsive suspect in a public park, three Connecticut cops were finally placed on "desk duty" yesterday after footage of the attack had been made public.
Turnout for Yesterday's Pro-Gun Control Rally Dwarfed By Yesterday's Anti-Abortion Rally [UPDATE]
Around 6,000 people showed up to yesterday's gun-control rally in Washington, according to NYMag. Reuters reported a vaguer "thousands," including a group of Newtown, CT residents who were bussed in. The rally was organized by Molly Smith and One Million Moms for Gun Control; similar events were held in other cities…
You Only Have Four Days Left to Bid on This Rotten Twinkie
From reader John: a rotten, cling-wrapped Twinkie (a "scientific and historical curiosity") is yours for the bidding, starting at $25, less shipping.
This Week in Sinister Evolutionary Leaps: Cooperative Spiders
Last time in sinister evolutionary leaps: catfish eating pigeons. This time, it's two different spider species working together for mysterious purposes.
Milwaukee Sheriff Tells Residents Calling 911 'Is No Longer Your Best Option'
The police department in Milwaukee is a little short-staffed after a round of government layoffs. County Sheriff David Clarke Jr. has just released a radio ad in which he tells Milwaukee residents "I need you in the game" (the game is "being police offers").
Burt Reynolds is in a Florida ICU with the flu. If Burt Reynolds can get it, you don't stand a chance. Get a flu shot.
Conservationists are burying perfectly good Scotch in the Antarctic ice to "protect Shackleton's legacy," the monsters.

