For this to be accurate, the cart would have to be before the horse.

I hope they do “Springtime for Hitler.”

Already forcing women to do something with their bodies against their will, and he’s not even president yet.

I mean, not every one is great, but he had a way of making some of those look like he would never walk again afterwards.

Is there a GoFundMe or something set up for the family of that poor player who was shot while simultaneously having a seizure as Mario tried to get past him? I can only imagine the heartbreak of knowing that he’s never going to come home again.

David Duke is more tolerable.

It’s not even my birthday.

All that’s needed is a restaurant serving Chinese food and a movie theater and we’re good.

Does these filthy Heathers have phone numbers? Asking for a friend.

I assume the religious right will execute anyone working on Christmas. After all, no true Christian would be working. Only filthy heathens.

I read that and couldn’t help thinking of this.

The blame is squarely on these drivers. What if it wasn’t a Comcast truck? What if it is a child who decided to run into the road? What about a police car or fire truck trying to save someone’s life, before before backups arrive? Are they to be blamed too?

Surprised it took so long to catch this guy, what with his signature catchphrase, “Goddamn it, touchdown Wake Forest! Fuck me, folks.”

This will not get the credit it deserves.

+1 Beating with your own shoe

I know the PERFECT man for the job.

Prescient...

Highlight truthers are starting to define truth the same way the alt-right does now.

I have a soft spot for Shaq because every year at Christmas he used to go to a toy stores in LA and buy actual truckloads of stuff to give to charity. He would always bring a couple kids with him to make sure he was buying the stuff kids would actually want.