Trump Jr. proposed at a shopping mall in New Jersey as part of a jewelry store promotion, which is the Trumpiest shit that’s ever happened. 

Melania: Shipping order.

Seriously, that’s the most saccharine thing that’s ever been written at Deadspin, and also by far the most frightening. Get well Drew.

Nancy must be playing RDR 2 or something, that seems like something Hosea would tell you.

To be fair, my Porsche is the closest thing to a grandkid my parents are ever gonna get.

Waiting for the day when I never see an image of this rainbow snow cone tattooed rapist clown face again, the filthy piece of shit. All the punches forever.

Are they really trying to convince us that the reason for the bag switch is a shortage on canvas of all things? If anyone believes that I’ve got some swampland for sale. Strange, I haven’t heard about this global canvas shortage problem. Good thing nylon isn’t in shortage too /s.

Do you guys remember when Nintendo gave out Dragon Warrior for free with every 1 year subscription to Nintendo Power?

Well this brings back some memories

Absolutely! We went with a brunch this year because my dad is the chef when my side of the family has holiday meals and he’d had both knees replaced this year and wasn’t 100% ready for that kind of cooking marathon. My dad kept worrying that things weren’t up to par and I told him over and over that it wouldn’t matter…

Yeah, I mean, what’s he thinki— oh.

As a person who has a lawyer friend that works for a car insurance company.. The best bet is to file the claim with your insurance and pay the deductible, then let the insurance company’s lawyers go after Titan. Insurance Company lawyers are cutthroat mother fuckers and will fuck you up in court.

John Hennessey has been ripping people off for decades. There will always be too many idiots with money.

“Plenty of parking” my left nut. I can’t think of any Chicago neighborhood where there is enough room for the residents cars plus 38 more.

Chum, we were deep in recession when I came out of college with a massive amount of debt, and that whole Internet economy wasn’t even a thing, yet...oh, and then it was for, like, a couple years, before it all exploded and we all lost our jobs...jobs that paid well below what they should have in exchange for future…

I always find it amusing that the generation clash is always viewed as being millennials vs baby boomers. Poor old Gen X just gets forgotten, which seems like the most Gen X thing it could really do.

So, as an experienced parent, what are the best children’s’ activities to re-live as an adult, that take you right back to being a kid again?

Totally anecdotal, but the number of drug dealers has dropped massively in response to legalizing.

I’m with you on traffic congestion.

Nope. This is one where the restaurant needs to put a full stop to it right away. This is absolutely a health code violation. Not to mention the loss of appetite of smelling some kids nasty diaper while you’re trying to eat.