Although I can't help but disagree with the first sentence of that paragraph:

I wish the Rangers would play a game called baseball.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm singing "fart bottle roulette" to the tune of Prince's "Raspberry Beret." Now it's stuck in your head. You're welcome.

Believe it or not, Arlington has really embraced this game lately. If you draw the fart bottle, you win. Everyone else has to go to the Rangers game.

From the article, I'm not sure how this is a trend and not just something a couple stupid people did.

There are too many events, that is for sure. But I think the biggest problem is the lack of new stars. Almost everyone noteworthy 5-6 years ago, is either retired, or a shell of their former self.

Do the Challenger disaster next!

Someone should have figured out Qatar was a terrible idea when they realized THERE'S NO FUCKING NATURAL GRASS IN QATAR!!!

"Are you currently falling forever through space? No? Then the ground is doing its job."

I's seriously wondering how this isnt a bigger deal. They said 12 stadiums with magical air conditioning drones. 4 years later and now its 8 stadiums with no ac, magical or otherwise. I really wanted to see magic AC drones, dammit!

"The ground is fully functional." Talk about damning with faint praise.

At least they will have drone AC units.

I mean, you really don't think a sports business reporter could be, y'know, reporting sports business news, instead of drawing a six-figure paycheck to rephrase PR emails?

I've literally never ever had a problem with the sides of the burger being undercooked.

"Penetration" was a pretty glaring omission. Sorry, guys.

Popular Doubles, Ranked:

That's the Patriot Way for you. Making the hustle plays. Picking up two where another team would have only gotten one.

How many lives were saved by this?
I am not joking, last year we had an old lady make a kid an orphan when she drove into a restaurant and killed his parents and a waitress. She was never charged with any crime. She only lost her license.

...Well knock me over with a feather. I can safely say that I did not see that coming.