I read this last year.....I reread it this year.... despite loving Love Actually in a way that is not healthy, I was laughing out loud all alone at this. 'British 911', 'cock-blockapus', the Natalie body dysmorphia....you are fantastic, and this stands up very well to repeated readings!

Apologies - it's hard to get tone over the internet sometimes!

You do know it's bad when the Telegraph is like 'chill out guys, can you just be a bit more....liberal?'

I mean, so far so good here, but I really really hate the direction this is heading in. We've already got the nut-job conservative types on the rise (United Kingdom Independence Party) so the last thing we need is for these idiots to gain any foothold. Although, judging by this video, they don't seem in too much…

Every cloud!

Yes - that whole 'how on earth do I know if someone wants to talk to me?' Um, use everyday common sense. I have had people tap my shoulder, and I've had to pull out my headphones and close my book to speak back to them, hoping they only wanted directions. Clearly, in that setting, that person does not want to speak to…

See - I can't STAND Jessie J, which is why this song grates on me a lot. Jessie J hatred reason #1 - girl can actually sing, so just hit the damn note, don't slide up to it then quaver all around it, turn the vibralto down like woah. #2 - 'I'm a lesbian/bi/whatever is cool this month, just allow me to be free!' Oh no…

This is really sad, that you have to alter your plans, and by extension, your life and free time, due to shit bags. I'm sorry!

Free speech means you're not going to be arrested by your government. It doesn't mean you get to act like a total prick to everyone and they have to listen to you.

Ha, I didn't even think about this! Also, it's not like Tinder/Match/blah blah doesn't exist, which is literally a database of people who are amenable to the idea of talking to you.

Also, as many people have pointed out; at a bar, maybe someone has a broken bottle, you're really not going to be able to defend yourself against that, unless you're literally in a action film, in which case you just flip them over, bottle or no.

High five with the losing out on poshness. What's worse was I was born and bred a Londoner, and went to a fee-paying school, then went to uni in Ireland. Everyone assumed I was one of these British who stole their land/women/poisoned the potatoes/lover of the monarchy and I was shouting into the wind 'No you guys!…

I haven't given birth (!) however if you have a 'normal' birth i.e. vaginal without complications, you won't stay in a UK hospital you're not paying at for more than a day or so. If you pay, you can pretty much stay 'I'm shacked up here for a week guys'. You get a consultation from a nurse to make sure the baby can…

Nothing very erudite to say except...I LOVE Black Mirror (and basically anything Charlie Booker touches/pens)

So....we all cool with that whole Solange domestic violence incident now?

Also, we've known about the concept of Black Friday for a while, but this year EVERY SOLITARY SHOP decided to get in on it. Holland and Barretts for what, half price vitamin C?

Thanks you guys... we really appreciate it.

HAHA! I didn't realise I needed this chat up line in my life, how wrong one can be.

This is so horrendous. Also it feels weird to 'star' your story of such awfulness, but I'm more starring your survival skills. Well done you

I'd like to talk to her about how much we hate all people. I feel we would bond over that.