I will remember that while I imagine:

Here. I’ll make you feel better. I survived the Great War of N’Sync vs Backstreet Boys in the early aughts— THROUGH MY CHILDREN.

“He dropped by my apartment one day and one thing sort of led to another.”

Shout out to all my fellow Jezzies who read “inexpensive Yankee candles” and thought about how you only get Yankee candles when they're on the clearance endcap at TJ Maxx.

Diptyque’s candles are seriously a waste and have such poor throw of scent. 3 wick candles from bath & body are the best and I will fight you if you disagree.

I went to go see Tarzan in theatres. It was my first movie theatre experience and I was like, three. Phil Collins started singing You’ll Be In My Heart, and I started crying and stood up in my high chair-clad seat and yelled, “A gorilla will never be in my heart! Jesus is the only thing in my heart!”

My son has night terrors. His first one (before we knew he was having them) involved him pointing down the hall and muttering, “It’s gonna get me!” over and over again. He was so focused on whatever he was seeing, that I wheeled around to figure out what was there.

I think people are taking the word “cheapen” too literally. Some of us think that sex is part of something bigger. I don’t judge other people’s choices, but that doesn’t mean that those who aren’t into casual sex should be judged either.

Two words: deep throating.

Essentially, the problem is still that porn tends to be from a very male point of view of sexuality, meaning many young women who view it will end up exploring what men who pay for porn (an audience separate from all men) think her sexality should look like.

Cheapening sex is better than placing so much value on it that anyone who engages in it for pleasure is instantly shunned and ridiculed.

I dated and lived with a guy for two years. I basically did everything: paid the bills, bought the food, cooked the food, cleaned the house, took care of our dog, took out the trash, worked full time, took him to work and picked him up, etc. Whenever he did anything, which was almost never, I was over the moon. I…

Hi! Alledged witch here.

Typos, it is supposed to read HELL FIEND.

I was going to say, doing this with my ex would have been either incredibly comical or just downright depressing.

I feel their pain, I had to replace my carpet after my dog ate 5 pounds of hamburger meat and pooped and pooped and pooped overnight while we slept. It looked like that once scene from Jurrasic Park in the living room.

So is Dane Cook, but I don’t need him in my life.

True facts. I LOVE Jaclyn Hill’s tutorials, and they’ve been really useful to me in learning new techniques. This woman sounds really proud of the fact that she’s bad at makeup or whatever, which—you do you! But also, stop bragging. No one actually cares, and you and your tired second-wave nonsense can go write for…

I got caught NOT masturbating, but got blamed for it anyway.