I just thought of this comment while eating lunch in the break room at work. One of the other women in my office makes these disgusting lip smacking noises no what she chowing down on.

I can eat cream cheese right out of the tub; I’m so not worried about appearances.

Erbert & Gerbert does that with their subs so they can fit more stuff in the sandwich, but they put the guts into the wrapper as well so you still get the yummy innards of the bread. The guts are especially tasty with their chicken and dumpling or chicken and wild rice soups.

I was working for Starbucks at the height of the Atkins craze and still shudder when I think of all the people who had their lattes with steamed heavy cream instead of milk, but I can see how it would make Passover so much easier.

Aren’t those always the jokes that get the most traction?

That way lies madness.

I honestly think some people take the “have it your way” thing to mean they can have stuff that isn’t even part of your corporate identity. We had people try to order stuff that was exclusive to Caribou sometimes. If they weren’t assholes about it I would have them explain what the Caribou product was like and try to…

It’s actually really good coffee, bold without being way over roasted.

True. I worked at a Starbucks and some of the orders people came up with just blew my mind, but I try to not make life any more complicated than it needs to be. Not sure if I’m boring or just lazy.

I can’t blame people at independent coffee shops for asking those questions because as sure as you serve someone a macchiato without asking those questions they’ll have meant the one like at Starbucks so I don’t mind the questioning even though I never mean the one like at Starbucks. I’d rather you ask than have to…

I know it’s awful. I still remember our manger finding another crate of eggnog in the walk in and having a serious discussion with the shift lead about the possibility of puncturing every single container. Our manager insisted they stay on the menu until we ran out of eggnog.

The worst part was the looks he was giving me, like I was stupid for not know what “brown square thing” meant. He actually started saying it more slowly like that would help me realize what it meant, even as I’m showing him all the possible things it could refer to. I laughed so hard I actually stopped breathing after…

Midday frappucinos didn’t bother me so much; it was when a car rolled up to the drive through during the morning rush and everyone in that car wanted a damn frap. Our store at least had a small cooler up front where we kept the mix for them so no having to go to the walk in.

Thanks a lot now I want a cafe au lait, and all we have at work is crappy Keurig coffee, and no I have no idea why they call it a Caffe Misto. Cafe au lait actually makes sense because that’s exactly what it is.

How did he even come up with that abomination of an order? I just don’t understand people who make things that complicated. I can only imagine how satisfying that moment had to be for you.

It’s interesting that this whole carb/gluten fear thing has taken such root that what was once a funny story without any context now has to have a ton of exposition, but even with all of the “does this come with bread” crap I still can’t imagine trying to eat a roast beef and cheez sauce sandwich without a bun. It…

I had a friend whose son wouldn’t eat their horseradish sauce because they call it horsey sauce, and he thought it had actual horse in it. Kids can be so damn adorable.

I remember when I first moved to Wisconsin from Georgia how shocked I was that I could buy whiskey in the Pick n Save and on Sunday no less. I moved back to Georgia shortly before the vote for Sunday sales, and you can bet your ass I was at the polling place to cast my vote for allowing adults to buy what they want…

I remember several of my coworkers referring to them as the Devil’s ice cream. I still can bring myself to order one, and I haven’t worked at Starbucks in over 12 years.

Bread has always and will always be my downfall. I can live without rice and pasta, but a life without bread is a life wasted.