You think that was clean? I’d hate to see your kitchen.

Nah. Anytime you put your head down and lead with the crown, it’s a penalty.

“...even a blind clock fucks a nut twice a day.......or something like that.”

I will never understand why hockey fans give a shit about a player’s ability to fight. It’s like placing some importance on a left tackle’s ability to play beer pong.

Sitting on that has got to hurt your BACK BACK BACK.

I don’t know why I find this so funny. Here’s a +1.

This is the payoff on the long con of typewriter inventor Jerry Qwerty.

the unpopped popcorn things

His election is like something out of a Greek myth — he got exactly everything he didn’t want. He now has to live in a city he hates, surrounded by people who hate him, and spend his days in boring nerd-ass meetings and reading reams of dry reports prepared by other nerds. Imagine if Sisyphus could just step aside and…

Yeah, but this is classic Pacman, a man with ghosts to deal with. You sign a big deal to play football, you wake up in a hotel and can’t believe your eyes when they’re trying to arrest you, you stick your finger in somebody’s face and eventually you go out in a hail of gunfire. It’s the “Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde.”

Pictured: Jesse Palmer during Musberger’s rant

That’s my favorite part of the audio. Jesse Palmer apparently turned off his mic, pulled out the batteries and flushed them in the toilet, threw the mic out the window, then left the room and shut the door behind him, he wasn’t touching that one.

That gap at the end between “2nd down and 9" and “Perine checks in” is brutal

Eli: “Odell, why wasn’t I invited to party with you guys?”

Eli, sadly, was not invited

“I was like, good gracious, ass is bodacious”

Greg Poppovich.

Man, Waldo is getting really fucking lazy these days.

Another good part of this video is at 0:25 when the guy in the Hurricanes polo says “I gotta pee” and takes the Mountaineers fan’s spot.

“Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s — oh, uh, sorry.”