Every movie is shaped by the protagonist. Like Batman should be the story of a crazy guy but in his head he’s awesome, able to stealth in the shadows and fight crime without killing anyone. Meanwhile he’s actually left dozens of people paralized.

This guy needs to make like a tree and get Dutch Elm disease.

They’d save so much $ if they, like everyone else in LA, just got their employees from a Home Depot parking lot.

Thanks. I would be more surprised, but I guess we can’t know how many people signed up with Jordan’s info until Grindr’s information comes out.

To be fair, the 18 NFL accounts are just 1 Aaron Hernandez seeking jailhouse companionship, and 17 accounts registered to Brett Favre underwhelmingly comprised of penis pics.

What about Gawker Media?

BOOOOOO!!!! (bears fan)

I’m just gonna say what everyone is thinking: pizza tastes good.

Too soon.

No big deal here. Bryant is not the first person in Dallas to lose their mind from some well-aimed shots.

I saw ‘Fallen Angels’ and wrongfully assumed this would be an article about where I can meet meth addled ex-strippers who have been bounced around the low-end of the porn industry. Alas, I was way off.

Chlorine mom? I’ve heard about her. Her husband can be pretty reactionary at times, and their kids are SO damn salty.

+1 for Week 1 eliminations.

+1

Usually Bears don’t fuck up a pool until September.

No. AP just beats his ki’ds

Thank you Barry, for opting to go with ‘Thrown to the Wolves’ and not ‘Thrown to the Lions’, even though this was the obvious choice. I know it’s small, and inconsequential, but it’s what seperates you from the Albert Burnenkos’ and Adolf Hitlers’ of the world.

Was Tulowitski better? Sure.Was Jeter worse? Sure. Was Cashman an asshole? Sure. Are the Yankees, as a franchise in general, deserving of our disdain? Sure. Are we merely fleshballs, inhabiting a decaying vessel, hurlting though the void in a meaningless cycle of mass and heat and pressure and the despair of a haunted…

But how will Didi Gregorius feel about this revelation?

I don’t like you making fun of the former Dallas Texans. So as a blog writer of sorts to my friends, family and “others” via Facebook the article from Drew is about as poor as it gets!! Is that all it takes to become a staff writer at Deadspin? Well, boy howdy as people think they say down here in texas give me…