One man's quest to make the ESPN Featured Comment of the Day. [Featured Comment Quest]
Not Quite A Mark McGwire Sighting, But Close

It's been a while since we've seen Mark McGwire. Wait ... was that him at that Obama rally yesterday? OK, no, that wasn't him. But admit it: You wouldn't be surprised if he looked like this now.
Enough, Already, With The "Unwritten Rules" Of Baseball
Goose Gossage says you can't show joy when you do something positive. You can't bunt to end a no-hitter. If their guy throws even close to your guy, you have to throw closer to his guy. In the fourth inning, everyone has to do an Indonesian Dance Of Skulls before tapping his left ear twice. These "unwritten rules" of…
The Briny Ballers Achieve A Left-Columner
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball game in the style of…
Crazy Artist Guy Combines Michael Vick And Another Horse
You might remember last year, when a talented artist combined Michael Vick and Barbaro, causing us to spontaneously combust. Well, that artist is back, this time honoring the "great" Eight Belles.
Baseball's Flourishing Again ... Let's Expand!
The notion of "contraction," back when Major League Baseball was going to eliminate the Expos, the Twins, both, neither, somebody, seems kind of quaint now. MLB is raking in cash, and pretty much every team at least has the ability to compete. The Marlins and the Rays are in first, the Yankees are almost in last, and…
Hillary And The BCS
• How the Democratic National Committee is like the BCS. [Smoking Trees In Belize]
• Global warming is now affecting NFL training camps. [selfish teams]
• Eddie Guardado lives! [Rumors And Rants]
• This is quite a kind gift. [The Beautiful Game]
• What's wrong with the NBA playoffs. [Focus Balance, Trap Often]
• Ah,…
The Jazz Have Some Truly Charming Fans
Last month, ESPN's Ric Bucher took some heat for saying that Jazz fans are vicious because they're Mormons and there's nothing else to do in Salt Lake City. That might or might not be true, but one thing is certain: They really are quite vicious.
This guy sure has a lot of Vikings jerseys. [You Been Blinded]
Philly Got Rolled Up, Smoked By Pittsburgh
The NHL Closer is written by five hockeyfarians from Melt Your Face Off. When not crafting paraphernalia out of a hockey stick, athletic tape and a puck (yeah, man, a puck!), they can be found hanging out, keeping it mellow and doing their thing. So kick back and relax, because Weed Against Speed has lit the incense,…
Team? Who needs a TEAM? [Rivals.com]
Tony Kornheiser Leaves The World Of Newspapers
Sad news this morning, and we're pretty sure it's the fault of the goddamned blogs: Tony Kornheiser, after nearly 30 years at the Washington Post, has accepted a buyout from the paper.
This guy is extremely excited about WNBA Media Day. [The Sports Hernia]
We hadn't realized this would be the playoff matchups, if the season ended today: Red Sox vs. Twins, A's vs. Rays, Marlins vs. Cardinals, Cubs vs. Diamondbacks. Pretty cool. [MLB.com]
People Not Quite Old Enough To Remember The Last Cubs' Title
Forgive us the doubling-up on Cubs stuff today, but we just can't help ourselves: A new story in — of course — AARP Magazine chronicles the plight of old people just trying to stay alive long enough to see a Cubs World Series win. (Via wrigleyville23.) Our suggestion is to look into cryogenics.
Jim Edmonds To The Cubs? Nooooooooooo!
Through it all, through all the hamboning and declining skills, we Cardinals fans have always loved Jim Edmonds. How do you not love a guy who has tattoos of both Darryl Kile and Josh Hancock? But man, if he signs with the Cubs, as has been heavily rumored, we might have a problem.
Have Some Porkchops, Gentlemen
• How to make Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry run. [Basketball Nonsense]
• Favre in a box! [Pittsburgh Sports And Mini Ponies]
• Can you really call Kevin Garnett clutch right now? [Waiting For Next Year]
• Which teams are for real? Yes to the Rays and Cardinals, no to the Twins, A's and Marlins. [The Sports Scribbler]
•…