I would watch the hell out of the Roberts family biopic. I love watching dysfunctional families (that aren’t mine) from a distance.

I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with Kris Jenner, but I’m with her on this one. We live by a famous person and the level of creepy stalkers is scary AF. Especially the guy that wears a black wool trench coat in 90 degree weather and insists he’s a motivational speaker.

And the horrible abuses in Somalia in the 90s, including roasting a boy over a fire.

Shouldn’t the headline read ‘Sexual Assault by Founder’? When I first read it, I thought it meant they’d somehow closed down because the founder had been sexually assaulted by someone.

I remain irrationally unhappy about this product. It’s not just the egg in the logo to me, although that’s huge, it’s also that 99.99999 percent of human beings would think “just” means “only” and “only mayo” is pretty misleading if there isn’t any mayo inside.

Yes, that also doomed my “Real Meat” brand of carrots.

Are you referring to 500 Days?

You just don’t understand new “political” Gawker.

Off-topic, Hillary, but can you promise me that Jezebel’s content will never get so bad that they have to resort to front-paging a serial troll’s thread for clicks like they’ve done on Gawker? Christ, that place has been a sinking ship for months now; will someone be merciful and put them out of their misery?

Strongly concur

Well, can he?

Why can’t the nerds fuck after seeing Star War

I don’t think the guy who waits for a 12 year old to become legal while rubbing his hands together like he’s about to get a juicy steak becomes “something good” just because the girl he married at 19 chooses to stay with him until his death. She has no other experience and was clearly groomed, so it makes sense that…

I’m trying to imagine my reaction when my friend tells me I have to wear a silk cape to their wedding. I think it would be “at least no one will see my face.”

Celene is a fucking national treasure. She’s batshit crazy and I love it.

The start of their relationship is squicky but it’s lasted forever, so there’s got to be something good there?

Ethereal. Angelic.

I literally didn’t even know it existed until this article and I live in England.

She has won my punishing heart this day.