“I disagreed with what the professional critics wrote about the last film, therefore their entire job means nothing!”

Hey there, white folks! Are you about to type up a comment on how you’re not one of those white people, you don’t have those thoughts, blah blah blah? Please don’t. Here’s the thing. If you’re a white person who grew up in America, there is absolutely no way that you’ve escaped the white supremacist ideology that’s…

Shaun King saying the officer is Frank Moss.

Accommodating your animal-loving guests is easier than you think.

I had ancestors die fighting the Wehrmacht during WW2 and I saw some of those old original films detailing what the Nazis did. This was waaay before Schindler’s List.

Naw, let’s shame the fucking Nazis every chance we get. They literally want to see a good portion of the world’s population dead, in a ghetto, or subjugated, fuck their feelings.

Kit Kat: First, separate the sticks. Then bite off the chocolate caps from each end of each stick and set them aside. For the two middle sticks, it doesn’t matter which side you start with, but for the two end sticks, find the side with the thickest chocolate, the part where it used to connect to the other stick, and…

“Endangered everyone’s lives”
Being drunk/high is a fair thing to complain about, but sounds like Ms. Gorman is the type of person that wants to “speak to your manager” when you tell her there’s no sales going on.

“Don’t do that dude. It’s gross and creepy and makes me not want to hang out with you”.

@Shieldbreaker, joke’s on you! I actually wasn’t required to write anything today at all!

Not the kind of half-and-half I was talking about

No.

Here’s a hack: When you first get up in the morning, try peeing half in the toilet, half on the floor. It’s a great way to wake up!

This is just honest-to-god something I didn’t discover until recently. Also, do people really read all their food packages? Genuine question. I do not.

Who reads the break package to see how to slice bread?

That’s pretty much where I am too.

That’s what I do, too. We’re just savages.

Usually I just use my hands. Just kind of jam your thumb into the muffin where you want the two halves to separate, and work your way around the circumference. If you’re careful, you can get it to split that way, but it won’t be as clean as with a fork. On the other hand, you don’t have to wash a fork.

“says right on the package”