Okay, so this dumb bitch thought that someone stole her phone to... do what with it? It’s not like you can pick up someone else’s phone and just magically have a shiny new phone. There’s passwords and thumbprints and facial recognition and shit. Did she think that someone was just fucking with her and hiding her…

Actual best case: he lingers until the early hours of November 4. I’d hate for him to die, and disaffected Republicans horrified by him vote for Pence instead. Lose, then die. Much better option. 

No worries. Trump will have a job lined up for him if he wins reelection. 

Yep. Baron Friedrich Wilhelm Von Steuben of Valley Forge/American Revolutionary War fame did just this. He was openly gay at a time when homosexuality was criminal (he was known to throw parties and invite men “on condition that none should be admitted, that had on a whole pair of breeches.”) After the war, he adopted…

Goddamnit. He’s back in the Sharpies again. That flag deserved better than his shitty marker skills. 

Fun story about local elections and why they should matter to EVERYONE:

aal

Aha. Gunning for the Chief of Staff position, obvs. 

Sean Duffy, former Real World (Boston) resident, married to Rachel Campos (now Campos-Duffy) former Real World (San Francisco) resident. Both participated in several Real World spin offs after their seasons, met, fell in love, married, had NINE FUCKING KIDS.

Side note: I was in London a month or so ago and stopped in a McDonald’s to buy plain cones for my kids. THEY have “Great Tastes of America” menu. None of the offerings tempted me, but almost all of them featured bacon. ‘Murica!

Quite so, but Alanis is a Canadian married to an American living in LA. Young Winter-born-in-August will likely be unable to pick up sticks and move to the southern hemisphere for a bit.

“Hey bro, what’s your name?”

I can’t drink from a can.

Sell. that. shit.

They didn’t get any money for scholarships. Full price tuition was paid by the family. 

It’s not necessarily a money thing: my father-in-law’s father was the owner of a small farm (so, every season was living on a razor’s edge of “will we make it”), and father-in-law went to University of Illinois and then went on to work for the US Postal Service. He made good money doing so, but not enough to get rich.…

I have absolutely no difficulty believing that most of these kids 100% believed that they belonged at the elite schools. They have lived entire lives of getting whatever they wanted and being told that they earned it, why should that stop now? Did some (many) of them struggle? Sure, but they probably just thought that…

The very best part isn’t just the fact that he believes that white people invented civilization. The best part is the part where he denigrates Iraqis, while also claiming to be descended from nonexistent white founders of civilization. Because Mesopotamia? It was kind important to civilization, bruh. And it was…

Maybe, but the original article says that the napkin gave them probable cause for an in person DNA test , which matched the ample DNA left at the crime scene. Good luck arguing cross contamination on that one.

Side note: In my younger days, I had big dreams of working in the news business (later crushed by actually working in the news business for a few years - shudder), and I took loads of journalism classes to get that (now unused) degree. One of the first tenets of “tape being given to news organization that has evidence…