I think we can all agree that a man that wants an egg cream is one that is so ancient that they ejaculate dust.

fine fine, I’ll submit 2 columns for review

You misspelled 'Ctrl'

Florida Man Sees Article About How to Make Money Flipping Cars, Fails to Read to the End

Yep. There’s a reason I don’t plan to live any longer than 74 years or the first sign of Alzheimers, whichever comes first. Got 46 years to go!

He then jumped into his Lambo, yelled, “Lexit!” and promptly crashed into a wall - that absolutely everyone saw was there all along - massively depreciating the car’s value.

Yes it’s a fast and easy way to let Google know your every move.

Microsoft’s Live Tile does it.....and even shows info about upcoming events (depending on the size of the Live tile)

You other brothers can’t deny.....

I’d pay good money for a David Attenborough narrated documentary on mustangs.

Reports indicate that there is solar radiation EVERYWHERE.

Compound interest.

Here is my biggest problem with the fuel economy test, it’s unrealistically slow for the highway cycle. Manufacturers know the speed, design their cars for optimal fuel economy at that speed. So they design the top gear to be used at 55mph. But in the real world when you are traveling faster it doesnt work very well…

So very very VERY many dick jokes that I could make. But I'm sure you all have them handled already.

Wow. Donald Trump was not kidding about hitting China where it hurts.

Not to be the pedantic fuck on the very topic we’re talking about, but the 300SL pictured isn’t a gullwing, as it’s a roadster, and has conventional doors...

Huh. Whenever I tell passengers “Ok, I’ve done this in a video game, I’m sure I can do it” they get all nervous.

If it weren’t for Tetris, I’d never be able to pack so efficiently for my road trips!