Good morning! Welcome to The Morning Shift, your roundup of the auto news you crave, all in one place every weekday morning. Here are some auto stories that are fun and happy and uplifting in these dark days.

Normally, I think Nürburgring lap times are silly and shouldn’t be taken seriously, but the time that the 2018 Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE just set is so insane that I’m going to tell you about it anyway. It involves good, wholesome American manual gearboxes kicking the crap out of fancy soft European dual-clutch…

Some children dream of Lamborghinis, Aston Martins or Ferraris. Not Mr. Regular. He first saw a Toyota MR2 when he was a boy and has wanted one ever since. Now he has one.

While sitting in traffic, you can feel your temper inexplicably rising. You hate the car in front of you. You hate the cars next to you. You hate what’s causing the delay. And you hate the motherfucking shoulder passers.

Or, rather, Ferrari has this really, really antiquated and very dumb, stick-up-the-ass view of itself that hasn’t matured or grown up to figure out how a flighty thing like image is cultivated in 2017.

It’s happened to all of us: we’re driving along, minding our own business, obeying the traffic laws, heading through that green light when suddenly we hear the sirens and see the lights and there’s the cop screaming through the intersection! Brake! Brake! Brake! Avoid the accident—if you’re lucky.

Unless you live in Kansas, roads curve and bend. They twist and wind. That’s what makes driving on them fun. Of course, you need a working car to use on these types of roads. A beat-to-hell Dodge Challenger Hellcat that was in a rollover crash won’t do the trick.

The regular 2018 Lincoln Navigator is what many would consider a large land vehicle. But not large enough for some! Some want more! Want bigger! Want want want!

For the record, I’m not talking about funny Blipshift stuff or whatever. I’m talking a T-shirt with a Lamborghini splashed across the chest. A polo with a Ferrari’s prancing horse climbing up its sleeve. How acceptable is it to wear something like that?

We put a lot of love and good faith in our cars, but sometimes they can’t help but shit out on us. It’s easiest if that happens at home or near a shop, but then there are always those other times where help and resources are far away.

As Americans, we’re obsessed with the forbidden fruit of cars we don’t get here, like the Audi A1 and the BMW 1 Series. But now there’s word that Mercedes-Benz could be bringing the spunky little A-Class stateside.

Some of the most obnoxious bleating I hear from my New York staffers is in regards to the state of the public transportation system. “It’s so laaaaate,” some bawl. “It’s so haaaaawt,” others lament. Why don’t you just drive, then! I swear to God, sometimes the easiest answers are right in front of us.

Used cars can always be fun because you never know what went on in the car before it ended up on your driveway. Most of the time it was nothing. Nothing. But then there are the other times.

Almost nothing makes me happier than a brightly painted car. Too many of them on the roads these days are white, gray, black or beige. Give me candy-apple red. Electric blue. Honeyed gold. Screaming tangerine. And then give it to me as a nail polish so I can wear it around everywhere.

Picture this: you’re optioning out your new car and you get down to the tires and wheels part of the build. You have the option of 17-inch, 18-inch or 19-inch wheels. Which do you choose?

First, let me get this out of the way: I didn’t wish for the for the BMW to explode, I was only expecting it to and was disappointed when it didn’t after everyone cleared out of the way. Because I was apparently raised on Michael Bay movies. Does that make me an asshole?

Ooh-aah, the 2018 Porsche 911 GT2 RS. The big, scary fast 911 to end all 911s. Just unofficially, for now.

The police cruiser sidled into my rearview mirror and my hands reflexively tightened on the 2018 Lexus LC 500's leather-clad steering wheel. Shit. I was sure I hadn’t just done anything illegal. Well, pretty sure.

Good morning! Welcome to The Morning Shift, your roundup of the auto news you crave, all in one place every weekday morning. Here are the important auto-related stories to read in on this wonderful Thursday morning.