I was hoping for more of a Norma Rae thing, but I’ll take it. Lease-spirational!

To be frank, it was really uneventful; I was prepared for them to say no way but apparently come with the facts, ask, and ye shall receive a less insane increase?

While I refuse to see these movies/read these books, that party really does sound like a silly, fun way to spend an evening. Just the absurdity of it all.

The best of the Goldie-Chevy movies was Foul Play. Fun, reverent Hitchcock spoof (with a very irreverent plot, if you get my drift).

You KNOW he’s sweaty all the time.

When he finally got to look at mine (am so ashamed) he clapped his hands in glee, bounced in the bed, and shouted “BOOBIES!” and went in for the double grab.

Girl, you know he would buy you the world’s shittiest coral atoll surrounded by grouchy sharks and covered in old cigarette butts and empty beer bottles because it’s where the stoner junior high kids hang out.

Nope. Not only is he a huckster and a moron, he’s young enough to be my kid (if I got pregnant at twenty.) Add in the breathtaking, K2 of entitlement that makes up his entire personality and that combination could kill any ladyboner for me.

No. I predict that sex with this bro would last under 3 minutes, and even though it was really quick it would also somehow be very boring and you’d wish he’d gotten it over with in 2 minutes.

NO THANK YOU.

When I saw the top picture, I thought I might. He looks kinda burly and I’m into that, but then I listened to the interview and I was like NOPE. He reminds me of the dumdums boys in my industry that don’t know what they are doing, but just fail upwards with their confidence and positive attitude. And I’ve never…

Um, what are you on? Asking for a friend..

There is no amount of money or penicillin you could offer me so I’d wake up and see this douchebag’s boat shoes and pink palm tree printed shorts on my floor. He looks sticky. No thanks!

LOL we make fun of women’s appearances in every dirtbag comment section.

I’d rather have sex with Leo DiCaprio in the Revenant. Or that bear, because then I would die.

Ladies I think we can all agree he’s likely never satisfied a woman in his life. Since I’m a dude though, I would hit and quit that shit. But definitely quit. Like, “Uber has already been called before we’re done” quit.

The man looks like every Malibu real estate agent in a pink polo shirt and Oakley’s who killed his assistant professor of marine biology wife for his in-law’s business inheritance and to cover up an affair with a blonde real estate upstart who enjoys water skiing and equus sport despite support from their Pentecostal…

Umm, when have men not ragged on women for their appearance? God, you’re such a shit poster.

Not even with a borrowed pussy. Not even with twelve borrowed pussies. Not even with three hundred borrowed pussies and a Rohypnol smoothie.