As I resident of Los Angeles and a NFL fan who’s interest is already on the decline, I can say without a doubt that I could give zero shits about the Chargers or the Rams. Things were so nice when we had no team, I hope this fails spectacularly for both teams.

Right? If the Giants had lost the Super Bowl in 2008, I would’ve been crushed (though not enough to punch a TV). But when they lost in the playoffs last weekend I was just mildly disappointed. When you’ve seen your team win a bunch, the losses don’t hurt that much anymore. Unless you’re a child who can’t handle any…

Exactly. I was bummed about the game for a minute, but then I think, 14-1 is damn good. And it’s not like I haven’t seen them win a title before. Get ‘em next year.

“I always thought he was immature and fake”. You imagined wrong and quite frankly that’s a shitty thing to say. I’ve actually met him several times and he was a genuinely nice guy. There were never any cameras around at the time. Let me know when you say something that matters.

I said this when Dario retired, and I’ll say it again about Edwards:

Calling click bait on this. I watched the press conference and the only reason it got brought up was because of a question from a reporter. His answer was basically saying of course it’s something he payed attention to.. just like everyone else.

I’ve been a Dale Jr fan his whole career.

Having a seat and letting the water beat on my head, face, and neck while I swear to myself that I’ll never drink again is my go-to hangover cure. If that doesn’t get me feeling better, I write off the day, towel off, and crawl back into bed.

I’m told I’m an introvert because I despise small talk so much. I seriously considered not going to my parents’ for Xmas dinner this year when I heard my aunt would be there and I knew I’d have to listen to the “how’s work?”, “what are your plans for the future?” I borderline find it offensive - like think of…

Came here just to tell the world this, was not disappointed to see it already here.

“How good is the feeling when you see someone in public (across the store, etc) and successfully navigate yourself out without making boring small talk?”

I’m not a proud man and I’ll admit to pretty drastic evasive maneuvers in some situations to avoid small talk. I have family I like and I’ll stop and talk to them for…

I could see racing my brother on a twisty European road in one of these new bad boys. 

If they’d tackled Hurts on that scramble, there’s no way Alabama doesn’t win the game.

Joey Porter was, and continues to be, one of my favorite Steelers. I am pleased by stories of him fucking with kickers. Are there any more former kickers who post on Deadspin who have stories to tell?

In March I’ll celebrate four years of being on my workout routine and I have in fact been in the best shape of my life for those last four years. I posted my best two mile time ever less than three weeks ago. I’m 39 and weigh 177 lbs. When I was 35, I weighed 207 lbs. When I was 24, I weighed 296 lbs and never…

Leaving the ramp down was a ferry bad idea.

“McAdoo was asked if he would discipline the receivers for partying in Miami.” 

My best friend was a guy I knew since age 12. After about 30 years of almost daily contact, I moved 2 states away. We were reduced to increasingly rare phone conversations and my occasional visits back. One thing that always made us both laugh was no matter how much time passed, whenever we spoke again, it was like…

I’m just here for all the crazy commenters who didn’t really read this and didn’t pick up that it’s satire.

Please Jezzies, cross your fingers and send me your positive thoughts/prayers/spells to help me get this job! I’ve done two rounds of interviews and they want me to meet the client in the beginning of January, so it feels like I’m in but you never know! I want out of my shitty old job soooo bad, it makes me want to…