Up to Gere's elbow, if Alec gets some poppers.

How can you rate Hearts of Darkness above Tropic Thunder?

I'm gonna be terribly peeved if there isn't a guy in it wearing one of those stripey shirts, a beret, and carrying an onion.

Look, just because your dad's good at something doesn't mean you are. I don't go around wiring up phone exchanges, and Frankie F's kids should go around makin' films.

So, no more shoeless vegan dinner parties?

Well, the Fate of the Furious should be out on Blu-ray by the time this is in cinemas.

Please note, however, that the sex object grrrl is NOT "sexy". She's *slightly* chunky, because it gives the nice-guy protagonist a chance to show how totally non-shallow he is because he's *totally* dating a girl who's *absolutely* has a figure that is sooo non-traditionally attractive.

That…is…perfect.

Isn't there laws against making people read "Ready Player One" - the sad, bitter neckbeard bible?

You mentioned Terranigma. Amen.

Is AV club stealing from Tumblr now?

Hah, you're implying Breitbart staffers leave their parent's basements.

GUY HERE DID A PETER PAN RIGHT HERE OFFA THIS DAM, RIGHT HERE.

All you'll get, buddy:

Choose player class:

Just keep Sophia the hell away from it, 'cause the French Plantation level will SUCK.

That's because Barker insisted all contestants be spayed and neutered before competing. Tones down their behaviour.

He's gonna burn one last J up on the roof before he goes.

I think the thing I most love about AV Club reviewers is that they're insane hipsters and self-appointed cultural guardians *now*, but you know in high school they spent a good chunk of their time getting wedgied the point of pruritus ani.

Mix it with some Bundaberg Rum, and you have the ultimate Dark & Stor- OI, YOU LOOKIN' AT ME MISSUS, I'LL FARKEN GO YA.