Oh, so he was talking during the national anthem?

Counterpoint:

and he (usually) calls a good game.

Can someone convince Skip Bayless to get hair plug treatments?

I HATE having to buy a new vacuum every year or two!

Curt hasn’t been this invested in a trainwreck since 38 Studios.

the kid who lived one floor below me played the bass line from the red hot chili peppers’ “soul to squeeze” every day for about 6 months. through an amp, and not at a reasonable volume. i’m pretty sure everyone in the building wanted to kill him.

....he was constantly on the phone with his girlfriend, Lennay Kekua...

This won’t make the cut, but in terms of College Roommate Nuisance Stories, one of my two other freshman roommates played Live’s Throwing Copper the entire year. That is not an exaggeration. That album played at least once a day, for the entire year. For anyone wondering how long it takes to get sick of Live, it’s…

This rule will be changed immediately after the Patriots befuddle the Ravens with it.

Somewhere Bill Belichick just became urgently aroused, and he doesn’t know why.

Let’s go through it.

It’s really got to be hard to be your father’s second choice for a date.

That’s going to be a cool scar to show the sales pool once he graduates with that business degree. And then the used Hyundai lot. And then the Best Buy break room. And then his high school reunion. And then a new sales pool. And then the used Hyundai lot...

Julian Edelman just trolled you from the locker room.

Excuse me, dear? The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!

4 minutes on this and I’m the only star?? Fuck is wrong with you people today?