That depends...are we in a dark alley? Am I armed? Are we in public?

This never happened when Brett Favre was quarterback! No tablets were available because he’d ingested them all.

What kind of parents would let their teen daughter anywhere near Tyler Seguin?

Why doesn’t he just drink recovery water instead?

Fan: Hey Roger, show us a cool trick you can do with a racket!

I wish the NFL did end of the year superlatives like in high school Best smile, Most likely to become a play by play guy, Most likely to be found with a dead woman in his trunk. You know just fun little things like that

Bizarre? Huge? Practically nothing in it? Maybe you just don’t understand Canada in general.

To be fair, it’d be cruel to make Buffalo fans snort their coke off a mirror.

Upon further review, there was no intent to kick. Suh just stumbled. Entirely inadvertent.

You used three sets of parentheses, but one period? You should not be in any school system.

Last time I checked excessive celebration is a penalty in the National Football League act like you been there before Clay Matthews, you’re a role model for children everywhere and you are acting like you never been there before and the little Millennials are eating it up I worked in the school system for thirty seven…

I didn’t know you were friends with my Aunt Kathy on Facebook, weird.

if football fans are good at anything, it’s finding creative ways to stay as shitfaced as possible while turning the stadium into a hell on Earth.

Seriously, Deadspin, before all the snark pours in, for stories like this you should be noting the suicide prevention hotline number and other relevant resources.

Please if you are having suicidal thoughts or just struggling with depression talk to a friend or call the suicide prevention hotline. They’re there to help: 1-800-273-8255.