The TC on the Twins’ caps is unique, and perfect. But they won their only World Serieses with an ugly fat M on their caps. That’s the problem.

Lemme guess. Ken Burns’s next subject will be Nordic skiing, where he’ll highlight the forgotten contributions of black people. Then he’ll tackle physics, proving that Einstein and Bohr stole all their ideas from Sub-Saharan Africans.

They’ll never hold the Super Bowl in Iowa because a flyover of jets is much more impressive than a flyover of crop dusters.

Isn’t it racist to capitalize Black and leave white lower case?

“Apparently, there is a clause or some shit that prevents athletes from protesting at the Pan Am Games.”

But she’s so bizarre looking. Is Simone Biles proof that pygmies have arrived from another planet?

Charlie was just a tuned-in guy trying to level the karma of Norman Polanski. Manson wrote one hauntingly good song, albeit with the simplest of rhymes: ‘Look At Your Game Girl’. Charlie also wrote the melodically deficient ‘Cease To Exist’ which the Beach Boys recorded as ‘Cease To Resist’. I can easily picture…

I want to be the first to go into the wild by camping in my RV in Walmart parking lots on all seven continents. Antarctica is all I lack.

Rihanna’s head, in profile, looks a cinder block. Her face looks like it was flattened after running into a Mack truck, except for her bulging forehead. Last I saw, she finally trimmed her oak tree thighs but shouldn’t anyone who looks like Rihanna consider double-bagging her head?

I can’t read all the text on her tattoo. Why didn’t she just get a Kindle implanted in her chest?

“...tweet ‘You are trash’ everyday...”

I aksed this at least a decade ago, and should have received all sorts of awards for my perspicacity. I axed it after seeing a commercial where dogs “talked”. Or other things with animals talking. CGI can make the most fantastic scenes seem real. In space, sure, but I also think of that Spielberg movie with Tom…

1) A sportswriter way back in the 80s pointed out that the then-current (and longstanding) official rule prohibited a catcher from blocking the plate.

Do the fights start when she calls him “Chinaman”? He always looks sleepy, and inscrutable. Does he retort by calling her “Buttface”? Not a “but her face” -  her incredibly fat cheeks suggest the roundness of a single human buttock. As the great character actor Dick Miller said in “Rock ‘N’ Roll High School” of the…

#blacksnacksmatter

Would those gold chains be required if the Braves changed their uniforms to resemble one of Cam Newton’s pimp outfits?

So the guy who bombed the World Trade Center in the 90s has a sitcom now? I have an impressively big question for Muslim millennials. Is it OK to draw the prophet Muhammad if you hide his buck teeth and acne scars?

So the guy who bombed the World Trade Center in the 90s has a sitcom now?  

The close-up of the dad makes me realize the daughter doesn’t just get her face from her scary looking mom.

She looks more like a butt face. Not a but-her-face. But like a single human buttock. He face is round. Her fat cheeks are repulsively round. She’s a butt face.