I think you need to find pictures of this and share them with the class.

I’ve got a bum knee from sports and sometimes when I get up from sitting on the floor I groan and it takes a minute. I like to hilight these things by yelling “IM SO OOOOOOOOOOOLD” especially when my mother is around because it makes her do that angry face that I find hilarious.

This is something my mother would look at and say “OHHHH I used to have a dress and boots JUST LIKE THAT when I was your age. God I loved those. I wish I kept them.”

So what? So I can wear them? My mother’s waist at my age was about the size of a pencil. Thank you, mother, but I inherited the “strong like ox” Polish…

Both of them. Together. Playing some strange Statler and Waldorf-type character. Under one billing.

Right?? Have you ever seen RED? I mean, it’s no Oscar-worthy masterpiece but it was still pretty great. Everyone in it is 50+ and fucking BADASS, including Freeman.

Aww. SOMEBODY gets discounts!

This is how my mother quit! Just boom. Cold turkey, never had another one.

I’ve been suing those disposable e-cigarettes while I’m in the car and it helps immensely, just til I get over the cravings. Then I have to beat the whole “something to do with my hands” thing while driving, cause that’s the REAL bad habit I…

There is blood trickling from my nose and ears, is that a bad sign?

Morgan Freeman.

Old People’s Eleven.

I hit a raccoon with my car once, or rather I thought I had but prayed I didn’t.... my boyfriend told me to stay in the car as he checked the front. I’ll never forget the look on his face illuminated by my headlights as he looked at the front of my car, then quickly ran back to the passenger seat, where upon entering…

OH MY GOD

Poor bastard thinks he’s been stood up. Doesn’t believe the story he’s given. I hope he got a snapchat with all the blood.

The most recent purse I had to throw out had a strap being held together with safety pins. I know what you mean. I was FORCED to get rid of it.

the most money I spent on a bag was a beautiful leather one from Italy, mostly because I wanted a nice bag from Italy.

It has a pen ink stain on the inside now. And goes to show that you can spend any amount on a bag but it won’t stop you from being a clumsy slob.

every time, goddamnit every TIME

yeh the whole “once he meets us” thing is kinda stupid. People like Trump don’t have ‘aha!’ moments that will change his fast held views. You need to be willing to change and be open-minded for that.

oh my god I am laughing so hard but I think it might be one of those really odd reactions to being terrified

That is most definitely NOT an elk. Elk are a lot bigger and have faces more akin to a moose. Depending on how fast you’re going, a deer can do damage like that no problem.

Since when does that matter?