I want DeNiro. Get your Oscar early on, do a few more serious films to establish that it wasn’t a fluke, and then just settle back and rake in the dough by taking three parts you could do in your sleep a year.

Actually, Sean Penn sucks. The more you know ...

Big Freedia opened for The Postal Service

I kinda miss Butts, too.

Crazy, right? These stadiums have a rich and storied history of paying for themselves and benefiting everyone around them.

I made your mom trick your dad into raising you.

I agree. Plus his words must be important for him to have become so popular as a singer because it sure as shit isn’t his voice.

That doesn’t diminish his talent or make his poetry any less potent.

Yeah but Schwarber went to Middletown so he’s guaranteed been in like 30 fights and probably a couple of stabbings.

Is Beyoncé?

I believe we have, with this article, finally reached peak dismissively calling people bros for no discernible reason.

I get it, this raspy-voiced, somewhat curmudgeony, old white dude isn’t popular around these parts but I’m not ashamed to admit I absolutely love him and have since I first heard him as a kid. My parents were of that era and had pretty great taste in music but Dylan was a glaring omission in their collection so it…

She isn’t pregnant with my kid

One thing I learned from watching Miami Vice religiously as a small white child: Legally, if you’re going to operate a boat, you *have* to hoover up a few lines first. It’s just, like, red letter law. Seems strange, I know, but Cokeboat law in this country is not governed by reason.

Yeah. Alcohol addiction is a terrible thing. Hopefully, you’re right and this will help others.

No matter how awful you think I am for writing a post on the internet saying that it’s not racist for a girl to braid her hair, I’d just like you to know you’re equally a shitty person, if not more, for spewing psychobabble and telling me, very confidently, that I’m insecure and self hate and just an awful person.…

I think this is supremely tacky. I have a close friend who’s a nonblack latina and did this to her hair a few months ago and nobody seemed to have a problem with it, which I found a bit strange. Her boyfriend, best friend, and the majority of her close circle are black and nobody told her it was tacky. Was it okay for…

An actress likes to dress up. In different characters. Shocking.

Then, in an even more embarrassing error, People Magazine mixed up Elvis Gerbac with Michael Rappaport.