“What do you call expansion of federal power at state’s expense? What do you call a tax and regulatory burdens at epic levels? What do you call infringements of the Bill of Rights?”

Not in California were not. I don’t know where you got that. We used to but we fixed our debts issues and we had a surplus for more than a few years now. From the New Deal to now, liberal policies work a lot better when given a full chance than the fraudulent trickle down nonsense Republicans used that finally…

You are risking queening up your child.

I think dying in your sleep as a grandparent counts among the best possible death scenarios.

If we brought George Washington to the present day, he would never stop watching porn.

"Pulitizer". Classic.

the “please call me” email is grounds for that person to lose ALL communication privileges

I carried the Darth Vader bust carrying case around with me like it was my suitcase.

Here’s a fun little trick that I learned from Gene Weingarten and like to occasionally pass along. When you remove all the vowels from Reince Priebus’s name you are left with RNC PR BS. You don’t even need to rearrange them.

Except for the puking, this is my kind of Christmas, since I generally hate people and would prefer watching A Charlie Brown Christmas on television in my underwear (and you’re right about the soundtrack. I listen to most of it year round. Goddamn Vince Guaraldi is so underrated.)

Fuck you, Drew. I’m swamped at work and you drop this shit at the end of the day? I’m sending my unemployment requests to Deadspin.

I hate to say this Drew, but I enjoy reading your words. I don’t like hearing your dumb voice. I don’t like hearing Marchman’s dumb voice. Could you please provide transcripts?

Believes in cash only.

Honey glazed moistness is a Gianna Michaels showcase.

But the good kind of thick.

Maybe 30 years ago. Probably not even then. Haven’t you even heard of Christy Canyon?

I’d definitely watch a video starring Emma Tacos.

Uhhh, Faye Reagan #1

You are one of maybe 500 men in America who doesn’t know who that is. I’ll just throw this out there: Tig ol’ bitties.
Excuse me: Natural tig ol’ bitties.

actually two things that would rest heavily on you