Is he still taking the shots at the Patriots with this choice of words?

Well, Gisele can never tell him to play with himself. She knows he can’t throw it and catch it.

Sure, the IOC has time to investigate doping scandals from 2008, but I’ve been asking the Thompson Middle School Field Day Committee (TMSFDC) to look into Timmy Freeman using a hard boiled egg in the 2001 Field Day Egg Carry, and I haven’t heard back once.

It is driving me insane that you have an extra space in between ‘Patrick’ and ‘Redford.’

The “Petrino” suggestion makes it seem like any kind of apology is just commonly referred to as such.

This snack thing is tearing my friend group apart. I feel like Drew didn’t really tackle the depth/gravity of this issue. Pizza, bagels, pizza bagels, etc. Does it matter if it’s cooked?

You know what they say. “It’s better to be pissed off than having pissed away a game in the fourth quarter.”

Grabbed her right by the...

I’d head in this direction:

Down Twenty with a Chance of Meatballs

Float like a butterfly, get murdered by a Murrbee.

Given how many shots everyone will be forced to block in Tortorella’s system, I highly doubt most players will be able to stand after the Canada game. This will, of course, play right into Tortorella’s system by having all five players lie down in front of the net.

Judging by the cover, I would think this is a handbook handed out by Dan Snyder to team personnel on how to properly defend and rationalize the name ‘Redskins’ and the team’s general inadequacy.

To honor Paterno, all in attendance will look the other way and disregard any time the referee tries to report an infraction.

But you have to admit it’s a true testament to Carey’s grit and determination that he made an entire career in a field he has no knowledge in. Side shout out to weathermen and Larry the Cable Guy.

Yeah, but will they bring back seemingly dead characters who may or may not have learned to shotgun beers by now?

Who would win a fight in a standard sized high school gymnasium: 800 high school students (400 girls, 400 boys with 200 from each grade) or 2 full grown male silverback gorillas?

Just the absolute worst haircut in the business.

Is it better to be the biggest athlete on the planet or the biggest musician?