I too raised a glass at his departure, and trilled my ‘best wishes’! Celebrities -- they’re just like us!

Sarah Palin with worse hair.

And better eye makeup.

I try to think about her rationally, but I cannot get past someone with eyes that narrow, doing their eyeliner in that way.

And now I need Patron.

godDAMN. Thank you. Hoisted on their own logical extreme.

“(Sloppy too! The totem pole, war dance, and headdresses mix and match from traditions of widely varying tribes.)“

swish!

And a dead body in her trunk and just having realized she sent a crucial email “reply all” on accident.

That’s an impressive commitment to your own disenfranchisement, sweetie.

Goddammit, Ken. We were all rooting for you.

Omg. We did ours using forms on the internet, and plus I’m a Real Estate paralegal, so I had access to some good heads’ up from that practice area, so our process was ok. We just fought all the time — and over nothing. I didn’t want the house, we didn’t have kids, and he didn’t really care about the cats, so. We were…

“...he’s not the hardest figure, but he’s not the easiest; he’s not Barack Obama, is he?”

Wasn’t my finest hour, for sure.

I can’t decide if that’s the icing or the cake.

As usual, that motherfucker was nowhere to be found.

can we explain it with a crowbar?

Please. They don’t read the bible.

Nope, which. Maybe too bad -- they say a family that plays together, etc.

Oh my god, they made a series out of my 2-year separation in which me and my now-ex-thank-gods engaged in an epic tail chase, during which we saw each other. every. single. day, slept in the same house (while paying for two), but not together, drank ourselves to blackouts, changed our phone numbers, changed them…