you are wrong said the fat controller

Annnnnnnd....

From a legitimately terrible writer. He deserves the Capitals and Wizards.

This is a terrible analysis of the events. Refs called both fouls correctly, then you go into some racial tirade or something. What’s your point, that Oubre should have been allowed to shove after the whistle and not be ejected?

Just going to assume this is satire written from the perspective of “If Bill Simmons was a Wizards fan”, and not a sane human’s actual thoughts.

Am I watching a completely different video here? Olynyck did not “ flatten Washington’s Kelly Oubre Jr. with a chest-to-chest two-handed shove.” I have no idea WTF you are watching if that’s how you interpret what you saw.

Claiming that these two “shoves” were equal is laughable at best...the majority of Gortat’s screens are just as dirty as Olynyk’s was, and neither of them get 45-foot running starts

I don’t really have a problem with Oubre getting pissy and shoving Olynyk, but there’s no way that Oubre’s shove was an equal and opposite reaction to Olynyk’s hard/illegal/kinda bullshit screen

Can you possibly write shorter, less ridiculously long-winded sentences? My god, trying to read anything you write is a fucking chore.

Hot take, hot hot take. Completely biased/wrong/whatever but def hot!

So the headline says it may have, but the article says he didn’t make it much further when he was in the closet, so likely not.

Hey Rich, did you really think no one would notice that you basically stole this article from one posted to Pitchfork yesterday?