Who the hell is Ryan Fitzpatrick?

Baaaaahhh, come on, man. “Just because it’s never been this way” is always a specious argument. I mean, people used to shit in outhouses, but then indoor plumbing came along and that was better, so outhouses were abandoned. The closest thing I’ve heard of happening is with Kazmir having trouble because the arms of a…

LeBron is a whiny primadonna who doesn’t have any heart.

Hawk Harrelson is an entertaining and decent broadcaster with a wealth of baseball knowledge. I’m not trolling. I actually kind of like Hawk.

Paul George banged Roy Hibbert’s main piece.

Paul George and Roy Hibbert bumped dickheads while tag teaming a girl.

The White Sox are perpetually shitty because none of the players want to make anti-union dirtbag Jerry Reinsdorf any more wealthy.

I wholeheartedly agree and would even expand upon that to say that Jeter was a below average shortstop.

You know what’s incredibly sad? Getting rid of your coke-head QB for a guy who texted pictures of his dong to a Hooters waitress on his wedding day.

This is ridiculous. You could easily turn that same argument around on management and say “you let a stupid uniform choice get in the way of your ace taking the mound?” Your comment just illustrates how you’ve been inculcated with the notion that players, whose bodies and behavior are already strictly regulated, can’t…

This is a bullshit take. I applaud Sale for cutting up those stupid ass uniforms. I doubt he thought of it this way, but I see it as “yeah, you pay my salary, but you don’t fucking own me.” If he felt, as did the rest of the team from the sound of it, that these goddamn uniforms were an impediment to safe and…

No, I think Yordano Ventura’s crown is safe.

If you’re over the age of 18 and you’re playing this stupid game, you deserve an ass whooping. And the next motherfucker I see driving around the neighborhood in the middle of the goddamn road at 5 mph with his screen up to his face like an asshole while I’m trying to complete the last 2% of my bullshit commute is…

Hey! I hate NYC! Wait... does this mean that I’m god?

I refuse to take seriously any publication that has graphs generated by Excel or has comic sans font.

Something something Michale Vick something terrible.

Could you please ban me? I spend far too much time in these asinine comment sections.

If you’re at the urinal and you decide to squeeze out a questionable fart, which you are sure resulted in some residue that is now trapped somewhere between butthole and outer cheeks, what’s the proper move? If you’re alone, you can just pivot into an adjacent stall to clean things up. But, if there are other people…

July 4 is a day that I can drink in front of the kids before noon, right? July 4 and Thanksgiving.

Fuck every single one of those motherfuckers.