When is this guy getting a cabinet position in the Trump administration?

No, I reckon he likes it doggy-style so he can pretend Melania is Ivanka.

You realize he’s also throwing shade at Obama, who does read the PDBs, so clearly he isn’t as smart as Trump. Must be the education system in Kenya.

It’s a mark of intelligence to recognize what you don’t know and seek counsel and knowledge about it. Only stupid people think they know everything.

You know why? Because he’s terrified. That’s what terrified people do: hide.

It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion.It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion. It has to be the Onion.

Pennywise would make a better president. “Yes, I may be an intergalactic spider from space that subsists on a diet of the souls of children, but even I understand the importance of maintaining a tentative diplomatic relationship with China to protect our economic interests on the world stage. This go it alone…

*Would be a better President than Trump.

We’re all going to die. After we’ve been handed over to Russia. Orange Hitler has no idea what he’s doing.

I’m pissed that Steve Bannon exists on this earth.

Hornet question: what makes Cara Delevigne a supermodel? Is it her eyebrows? Her success? Her notoriety? I’ve always been thoroughly stumped by her appeal: I just do not see it. Does she have a killer walk or something? Please, enlighten me.

Yep, now he feels full of vim and vigor, like back when he was a horny teenager, herding mastodons.

You just articulated my exact thoughts. I’m just sick of being nice to these pieces of shit. The admonishing from the left about not reaching out to the white working class male is also wearing veeeeery thin. Why don’t they apologize to me?! Fuck all of them.

Every time I see someone say what about Hillary as a comeback I want to strangle them with my bare hands. YOU DONT GET TO DO THAT ANYMORE, MOTHERFUCKERS.

C’mon, how is that any different than that self-involved has-been Jimmy Carter negotiating hostage releases and building homes for the poor?

I was always fed, clothes, and had a roof over my head, I have no problem with my childhood.

What if she had like, gotten her period???

Also, why didn’t she smile more, and why was she smiling so much? I don’t trust her.

ABOBOS?? Jesus Christ no.