All The Writers You See In Deadspin Videos Are Actually Me In A Green Screen Suit

You are all living a lie. None of these stupid videos are real. David Roth’s plaid shirts? Not real. Barry Petchesky’s gag reflex while eating 50 eggs? Not real. Dan McQuade and Dom Cosentino talking about football under studio lights every week? I start to question how real that is as soon as I finish the sentence.