My dad used to get fucked up with Tim Allen. The Tool Man puked in his brand new IROC-Z one night and I distinctly remember the stain and smell.

The Mistusbishi GS platform is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway:

The GMT360:

scale of 1 to 11?

That's not fair — now the guy's got a lead foot.

They can call it whatever they like, it's a Taurus.

Apparently a lot of jalops struggle with what constitutes an odd number.

The best odd-cylindered engines are odd-cylindered race engines.

And they didn't even have the courtesy to tell us what kind of car it was! How un-Jalop of the police. We'll see if we ever help them again.

You're my hero.

Fireball whiskey? Are you a 17 year old girl?

Since when did Fireball become a "Man's" drink. I'm not saying it's girly, but to me, a "Man's" drink is something like Glenmorangie 18 done neat.

Hello Acura,

I look forward to never noticing these on the road.

Pictured: Acura, embodied as a human male

I'm still not over how great this car looks. Everything about it is spot on, nothing's superfluous. It's perfect.

Made it 0:53 in, got bored and ended up watching my cat clean itself to techno music.