This story involves a shit I actually witnessed, versus one I took.

My wife was 39 weeks pregnant meaning she could deliver a baby any day. We were out and had some time to kill before my wife's weekly OB appointment, and as my 2 year old daughter was behaving fairly well, I decided to take us out to a nice place for lunch, rather than the normal soup/sandwich/ Panera type of place…

It's the total opposite, and not that dramatic, but I'll always have this terrible memory of a girl I had a crush on in high school asking me if I wanted to go to see the Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie with her when it came out in theaters. For some anxiety-ridden ungodly reason I said I had plans or some dumb…

Let's just say it wasn't a year. It wasn't 6 months. It wasn't a month. It was stupid as shit on my part. I was making decent money at the time and I had never met someone like her before so it was the perfect storm of making stupid decisions. Let's just say I learned my lesson, and actually cut the ties when she…

Jezebel is the next door over. And I was interested in a relationship with her. Being that this is a funny story post though, saying I didn't get to see her boobs is more amusing than "we didn't get to enter into a relationship."

Signed, Roman Polanski.

But isn't that ironic? Don'tcha think?

Police Officer: HANDS UP!
Ohio State Fan: [makes "o"]
Ohio State Fan: [makes "h"]
Ohio State Fan: [makes "i"]
Police Officer: [uses entire can of spray]

My nomination is your old gloves, with conductive thread stitched into the finger tips. I think this is the best because it is cheaper than most conductive gloves and many people have expensive gloves that they would work fine with a few easy stitches.

My nomination is your old gloves, with conductive thread stitched into the finger tips. I think this is the best…

There's no one moment, but:

DON'T YOU DARE TALK BAD ABOUT BRIAN DAWKINS.

For a short time I worked as a writer for the world wide leader and I was one of thousands who wrote for the website. I met Scott only twice by chance more than anything as I wasn't ever based in Bristol, or even a blip on the radar in the scheme of things, but at one of those events Scott turned to someone and said…

A lot of Cowboys fans ARE Notre Dame fans!

If he's a fit anywhere, it's the Titans. They still need a QB, and if anywhere knows how to love Cousins, it's Tennessee.

I am a professor at a large state university and this is becoming a huge epidemic. In a large class of, say, 300 students, you now routinely get 10-20 or more that have ADHD or similar type disability and demand extra time (usually 1.5 time, sometimes double time) for quizzes and exams, separate rooms for exams (with…

"where the Republicans just won back the House the same way Bush beat Kerry, by appealing only to their base and not worrying about anyone else"...

I'm going to jerk it with Purell instead of lotion just to be safe.

The thing that I am saying now about that is: someone might be right. I'm Perd Hapley.

Thank you, Perd Hapley

I am disturbed by this. It seems to me that the victim is assuming she did not consent to sex because she doesn't remember it. I would be greatly disturbed if a man could be convicted based on a lack of memory. Proof beyond a reasonable doubt should require far, far more.