This Week In Tabloids: Remember When Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds Got Married On A Plantation?

Welcome to Jezebel’s Midweek Madness where local menace Joan Summers, shortly after purchasing tickets to Detective Pikachu (premiering May 8th), sat down to write a scathing column on my sworn enemies, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively’s pantsuits. Preserve might be dead but its memory lives in the hearts and minds of…

This Week In Tabloids: Beyoncé is Allegedly Releasing Surprise New Music in an Attempt to Ruin My Life (Again!)

Welcome to Jezebel’s Midweek Madness, where local menace Joan Summers is preparing the bunker to weather out the Bey-pocalypse slowly entering pop culture’s orbit. With a looming Netflix special, an Adidas partnership, and rumors of new music this summer, the Hive is out and ready to play! And considering I no longer…

This Week in Tabloids: Princess Diana's Ghost Possessed Meghan Markle's Unborn Child to Enact Revenge on Duchess Camilla?

Welcome to Jezebel’s Midweek Madness, where local menace Joan Summers has ventured overseas to enlist the help of elite British ghost whisperers in the quest to find out what Princess Diana’s been up to the last 20 years! Sources claim she’s haunting the castle, others speculate she’s possessed the unborn baby of

This Week In Headlines: Celebrity Body Language Experts Claim Jennifer Lopez Staged Her Engagement? 

Welcome to Jezebel’s Midweek Madness, where local menace Joan Summers is enjoying her brief vacation from press cycles centering the romantic entanglements of hydration activist Jennifer Aniston. In the rare downtime, she’s pivoted to conspiracy theories surrounding Jennifer Lopez’s engagement photos and the rise of…

Did The Real Housewives of New York Premiere Prove It's the Only Good Show About Women?

Unabashed in its approach to documenting the sprawling lives of its subjects, The Real Housewives of New York is often credited as the foundational series in Bravo’s empire. Its 10 seasons have been endlessly meme-able with a catalog of drama that’s often crossed into mainstream news coverage. Enter Season 11. Having…

This Week In Tabloids: Jennifer Aniston Asked Brad Pitt To Be A Character Witness Against Angelina Jolie?!

Welcome to Jezebel’s Midweek Madness, where international fugitive Joan Summers is reporting live from an undisclosed location in the wake of last week’s installment. Fearing that the Alliance of Romantically Unsatisfied Heterosexuals would make the first move, my editors thought it best to temporarily relocate me…

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 9 Premiere Makes a Strong Case for Class War

In eight seasons, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has successfully strung together four decades of cultural history into a Lovecraftian Birkin bag. Continuing the metaphor, here’s what’s in the purse so far: Erin Brockovich, O.J. Simson, the Hilton family, Kelsey Grammer, Baywatch, Charlie Sheen, Days of Our Lives,…