I Love This Almost Certainly Untrue Rumor About Why Angelina Jolie Didn't Attend the Royal Wedding

I was going to make the lead story in this morning’s Dirt Bag about Roseanne begging “like 40 motherfuckers” at ABC to not cancel her show, but then I realized, Bob, it’s Friday, and that’s no fun. So, because we could all use a reprieve from this endless cycle of news about a “racist idiot,” let’s begin with…

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