“I really like to fuck,” said Team Wings’s Julianne Escobedo Shepherd.
Have you slept with Donald Trump? If so, and you’re interested in speaking publicly about it, an opaque web of legal agreements, hush money, and shady players may await you, according to an exposé published Friday in the New Yorker.
“I really wanna taste the barrel,” said Team Beer’s Hazel Cills during Thursday’s Cool Girl Olympics challenge. “I really wanna taste the wood and how long it’s been sitting in that wood.”
“Oh wait, bobsleigh, bobSLEIGH!!!” cried Team Football’s Ellie Shechet as the timer ran out, solidifying a solid, but not winning, performance in Wednesday’s competition.
Dun dun dun dunnnn dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnn! Welcome to the second biannual (that means every two years) Jezebel Olympics, but first-ever Jezebel Winter Olympics: Cool Girl Edition, presented not by NBC, but by us, Jezebel.
This week, a thick little boy trotted his way into our hearts, and then was ultimately denied the honor of Westminster Best in Show. That boy was Biggie—a moon-faced chunk of pug.
In December, the Federal Communications Commission voted to kill net neutrality, the policy that safeguards a free and equal internet and allows us all to tweet, like, email, surf, learn, bank, and fuck (or at least witness fucking) regardless of circumstance.
There are many sports in the Winter Olympics, all with varying levels of sex appeal. Cross country skiing is on the lower end of the spectrum, while luge (lube...) is all the way at the top. But there is only one that makes me weep from three holes, and that’s ice dancing.
On Saturday, demonstrators from the white supremacist group Patriot Front walked up Burlington, Vermont’s Main Street and into City Hall Park, where they unrolled a sign reading, “Reclaim America.” In response, the city’s mayor said the group has “no place” in Burlington.
In companion footage for the horror double feature Grindhouse—comprised of the Quentin Tarantino-directed Death Proof and the Robert Rodriguez-directed Planet Terror—Fergie, who starred in Planet Terror, alleges that Tarantino bit her so hard it left a mark. The story, told in a special bonus feature for the DVD,…
Men consume chips with a vigor reserved for those who have never feared for their safety on an open-air bridge; who have never thought their right to vote could be revoked as a clerical error because they got too shouty in the SoHo Apple store; who don’t know what it feels like to scream at their skin until it absorbs…
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA—There are many noble professions—doctors save lives, scientific researchers answer important questions, firefighters fight fire. But few are as noble as financial domination, or FinDom, the art of insulting and humiliating men and then making them pay for it.
Tonight we will be subjected to a word stir-fry (Trump would never have anything to do with a salad) of nationalistic, xenophobic, dog-whistle prose, delivered by our reluctant president, a congealed adult-shaped mound of the grease run-off collected by a George Foreman grill.
LAS VEGAS, NV—I am as close as you can get to being a virgin while still being sexually active for a decade. It’s for this reason that I volunteered myself (no one was asking) to go to the Adult Entertainment Expo’s annual BDSM fetish party at the Lair by myself, at 10 p.m., on a Friday, with no corset or gimp hood to…
LAS VEGAS, NV—jessica drake, Wicked Pictures superstar and sex educator, is holding her interviews at this year’s Adult Entertainment Expo in an unmarked suite in one of the towers of the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. With her in her room is a body guard and a manager; the latter says he is not able to leave the room…
Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.
Last year, I was going through a rough time, okay? Donald Trump had won the presidency, ushering in an era of precedented but no less upsetting racism and national stupidity; I was stressed and burned out; as my biological clock struck 27ish, some gnarly cystic acne began to torment my lip and chin area. I was in a…
At 12 p.m. I ate a destination salad from Chop’t. I knew it was too early for salad and that I’d be hungry before the day was over. Now it’s only 4:20 p.m. and it’s already Hoagie Time.
Is my Twitter password “HowardDeanLuvva420" or “HowardDeanLuvva69?” Ha ha, hi, I’m Joanna Rothkopf. Don’t you hate when you forget the password to your various social media accounts, making it physically impossible for you to clarify to your state whether or not it should be bracing for an incoming ballistic missile…
In what is a just-bananas-enough-to-believe publicity grab, Walmart will capitalize (intentionally or not) on the #MeToo and generally pro-women national mood by airing three 60-second films “devised” by directors Melissa McCarthy, Dee Rees, and Nancy Meyers during this year’s Academy Awards broadcast.