You definitely don’t get a reality show for what...ten years? if you’re dumb and just going through life partying and looking pretty. Like where’s Paris Hilton now? Probably snorting coke in the desert. And Kim was an employee of Paris’s! That’s some fucking planning and strategizing on Kim’s part.

I mean those of us south of the river all fly kites and watch fireworks on the site of a massive plague pit anyway so this would be hardly surprising.

Was there shadenfreude, involved? ;)

Huh. Really? I’m no Kim fan but Tay looks exactly like the homeless lady outside my office who digs aluminum foil out of the garbage to patch her spacesuit. Down to the stringy hair and overlined red lips. The dress is baggy and the styling is rough.

Not only did she make sure she looked better than Taylor in the dress, she made sure HER CHILD looked better than Taylor in the dress.

I am here for Kim and always have been. She is incredibly smart, intuitive, business-savvy, and, above all else, petty. I love it. I have been watching her for years because she is simply amazing and catty. She gave us the takedown of the decade, I still cackle with glee when I think about how stupid Taylor looked.…

When I read it, I thought, “Like Kim picks out her own clothes.” But then I remembered that Kanye does, which made it EVEN BETTER. It’s like Telephone Shade.

Thank you.

Kara, I just want you to know that I had a dream the other night in which someone said something shady, and I put my hand to my chest, looked at my best girlfriend, and said, “Did she just?” And she said, “I think she did.”

We all have a crush on Kristen Bell, I think. But she feels about Kristen Bell the way Kristen Bell feels about sloths.

Adorable story: I’m babysitting my cousin’s niece. (I think? She’s my cousin’s wife’s brother’s daughter? What is that???)

She’s beautiful, intelligent, proud, Irish, and plays golf. I am in love.

Wasn’t Luann also a nurse? So she’s got some medical knowledge, which could come in helpful.

But also I want Ramona on that island because Ramona.

Yes. I feel like LuAnn would actually shine in that situation. Real Swiss Family Robinson level stuff with woodworking and building irrigation ditches and shit.

Seriously. There are no words for how disgusting and inexcusable that is.

Diana died during one of my birthday parties. I quit celebrating them after that. Good thing too, b/c that bitch Katrina decided to fuck up another birthday. I’m done.

I was 5. My sister and I got up at like 5am to watch it. Before the wedding started, we caught the last few minutes of the Twilight Zone. I still remember it. Some guy was at a diner and when everyone left the waiter lifted up his cap a bit and revealed a 3rd eye. Then the guy at the counter brought out his 3 arm to…

Oh yeah. It was an event in my house. I was about eight years old. We woke up early to watch the wedding. It was amazing. A great bonding moment between me and my mom. Then when she died. I’m not British, but I sobbed like a baby.

Hi Ari! I like you, but I just want to add this to the convo. Gangster culture is not Latino culture. It is Latin@ gang culture and as a Latina I am not offended when white folks dress up as Cholos, because not all of us, in fact most of us do not subscribe to this lifestyle. So I am totally whatever here with Lana…