She doesn’t look homeless, she looks like a Floridian.

It’s was an amazing clusterfuck spectacle of racing/mudding.

This was one of the most wonderful, clusterfuck races I have ever seen. They should make all NASCAR races in the rain and award bonus points to cars that spend more time in the mud but still stay on the lead lap.

NASCAR Dodge Doge, of course!

Pay him no mind, he’s just salty because we own the moon, and he lives in a country that has flying poisonous crocodiles and no moon ownership.

There is a Beyoncé take, which is shared (with varying degrees of sincerity) by at least three people on staff, that no one will ever publish for fear of the Beyhive’s wrath. Seriously. They are worse than Gamergate.

It was too in love with its own cuteness.

You don't. Flakes are assholes.

Should it feel a bit odd/eerie that no mention of an illness was made? Kind of seems to be coming out of left field given there hadn’t been any real coverage of him being sick. Plus, ESPN had announced just last week that Saunders would be helping with coverage of the World Cup of Hockey in September.

Man, I love Zach Lowe’s columns and 85% of his podcasts, but his “guardian of respectable basketball opinion” act on Twitter (and the other 15% of the podcasts) needs to be taken down a peg.

Costas might bring it up in passing, as an excuse to segue into that great story about the time the train the Pirates were traveling on broke down and so the Pirates team ended up having to walk a piece down some back roads and they were fired on by moonshiners who mistook them fer Revenue Agents but luckily Pie…

Witnesses: We were the ones shooting.

Why is this dumb? If enough taxpayers did this (say 5-10 million) the government would absolutely have to negotiate.

A history of oral with Manti Te’o’s girlfriend:

Go fuck yourselves.

As of press time, the number of front-page posts about A) soccer and B) falling in love and getting old and being lonely and having the cops called on you because you’re crying from “emotion” and then having said cops cook you a simple meal of pasta stands equal at one.

Is one of the qualifications for your job to whine like a little bitch? It seems all gizmodo writers possess this ability tenfold over the general population. I hardly ever hear anyone complain about any of these things in real life. Its possible that they aren’t as much of a whiney bitch as you. That would also…

Why, you ask, would I seek to spoil an experience brining so much joy to millions?

Clowntroll blogger? He writes for Deadspin?