1. Shouting your child’s name. This is what I do at games, mostly so that the child knows I am still there and that I didn’t sneak out to the hallway to check my phone or buy gummi bears. You will learn to hate the name of every other child present.

and Tampa Bay was there first!

I chuckled at “bad faceoff guy”, then realized that I couldn’t come up with anything better :\

First question asked during interview for Deadspin writing position: “Can you give me as many terms as possible to describe home runs or the hitting of home runs?”

I’m rooting for Cleveland.

It’s as if he totally overlooked the “perhaps I should attempt to improve myself to make my show irreplaceable” option.

Kirk: You like that?!?

The only way this fight would’ve been any better is if someone touched Beltre’s head.

Last Friday, I asked Fox Sports if they were talking to Schilling about joining in some capacity, since a company currently stocking its kennel of hot-takers with diseased, three-legged dogs like Colin Cowherd, Jason Whitlock, and Skip Bayless seemed like a good fit.

You’re one of those libruls with your “details”, aren’t ya?

The coverage of the draft seems to be ruining things for the fans. I get the time we live in, where it’s a race to churn out as much content as possible, but do we really need 379 versions of mock drafts from BOTH Kiper & McShay??? By the time the draft actually happens, my interest in it’s about 95% gone.

Seems to me that anyone who calls someone who believes in prayer like Phil Robertson is really the one who is a bigot.

Derek Jeter: “Did you prep the gift baskets at home?”

Best Klans in Baseball

Thankfully, someone stopped Zach Mettenberger from REALLY going too far with selfies. I forgot, who was it that performed that honorable task?

Imagine how much more work he could do if he didn’t have to take to Twitter to brag about how much work he’s doing.

That’s a clown question, bro.

That’s 3,499 AB, Mr. Dibble.

Wow, Heyward couldn’t make it through one spring training away from St. Louis without forgetting The Cardinal Way.