At a Bills-Giants game, there was a guy with a Dolphins jacket pissing at the trough. The guy next to him turned and pissed all over his legs.

The fat drunk sitting next to me spent the entirety of the first half trying to get me to kiss my sister, who was 11, “because she’s cute.”

I was at the Kevin Everett game, sitting in the end zone with my ex-wife who is a Broncos fan. The Everett injury was probably only the fourth strangest thing to happen at that game that included:

My dad on the field after the Bills made it to one of their Super bowls. It was like -10 degrees out.

Leave it to an MSU grad to not be able to decipher the first goddamn paragraph.

As much as I would like to express sympathy for a city’s fan base that just celebrated an NBA title two months ago, three of the last five World Series titles, and five Super Bowl victories out of six tries in the last 33 years... I can’t. Boo friggin’ hoo.