Came here for this, leaving satisfied.

I saw a handwritten sign on a highway off-ramp looking for hungry real estate investors... maybe the author took really good notes at that Ramada Inn seminar?

My signature Stanley’s experience is getting 5 lbs of raspberries for $1.99, getting home and they somehow are already moldy. It truly was a treasure trove of variety, inexpensiveness and knowing you better have a meal plan for the day because not even a Subzero fridge is going to save that produce.

That’s excellent handle-comment synergy right there, Senor BarfRocket.

The name of the town in the video is “Angleton”? This really is all about geometry. 

I visited the Kraft (before the Mondelez split) 800 call center once for a project. The biggest takeaways:

John Mulaney had it right. 13yr olds are straight-up vicious.

Rock n Plays were the saving grace for both our kids. But you gotta strap them in. And as soon as they roll, even that first “whoa what did I just do??” moment, the Rock n Play goes away. We’ve had Pediatricians off-the-record tell us they’ve had their kids sleep in them for months since the kid sleeps.

Join their birthday club. You get a free slice of cake on your birthday. And if you’re me, you’ll also get a beef with hot peppers and a hot dog as your side. Oh and cheese fries.

Counterpoint: Baths send a signal to the baby / toddler that it’s bed time. Thanks to the Pavlov dog effect here, both kids are IMMEDIATELY excited for stories and quiet time when they get out of the bath.

Charity Safari Night at Mar-a-Largo? Exhibits are local disenfranchised people where the club members marvel on how they ‘behave like humans!’ while donating money to Jerry Falwell so he can buy a jet to spread the Jesus.

THERE ARE HOOKS ON THE DOOR! ugh.

Sounds like a strong trusting relationship upwards and downwards.

Are we ignoring the elephant in the room? That public bathroom floor — it’s so clean. No trails of toilet paper, no marker on the walls... *wipes eyes*... to live in a society that cares.

Yelling and berating is not a path of destruction in a relationship. Got it.

Replace “Coach” with “Husband” and “players” with “spouse”, then re-read what you wrote and see if you viewpoint changes.

Easy: you know you are going to quit the company during the year so you front load your medical expenses before fully funding your already designated FSA deduction.

Lol - how about that?

You beautiful one-trick pony

Something something throwing interceptions to himself but still fumbling into his own end zone