I love using the same picture on every article, but I’m wondering if there’s a way to combine it with the Jon Gruden bit, making Papa just a little drunker in each use.

He’s a fitter version of Vincent D’Onofrio’s Kingpin.

Is a Canuckle a moose knuckle in a pair of Carhartt overalls? 

Well now every time I see someone praying I’ll think “fart bubbles” which... yeah, that works.

My dyslexia just made the whole article about Larry Bird 

Agreed. I’m up in the 8th, and am sad about Stauber, but relieved that all statewide races went the proper way.

This is the correct take.

“Thanks!”

Update:

Who stuck a people head on a Lilliputian body?

I think all the hype that existed around Wiggins, prior to fully transitioning to butt, permits an age butt-stension.

That pitch to Johnson was the worst Lions qb decision I've seen since Jared Allen made Dan Orlovsky forget the rules of football.

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/da0a1b16-a580-4e19-b78e-4dd09ddd06c7

Hubristic

+1 for the Twain reference.

Spencer Dinwiddie sounds like the main character in an indie comedy where there's a British narrator that constantly refers to him by his full name.

Feed me, Seymour!

“It hurts my heart”

*Tiny Kristin Chenowith voice* "And my hatchet!"