I can sit here all day admiring Calvin’s abs - just like I did with David Beckham’s. He has a nice body (when you don’t make it a bad LSD trip).

“#WhenYourPreTeenWantsHisOwnInstagramAndYoureLikeNoooooooo.”

She’s a [insert whatever political party you dislike here] troll without taste buds or aesthetics.

Dammit, I wish I’d thought of that!

We are all Kim. Embrace it. Live it. Buy the fake eyelashes.

Your daughter is a genius. My kids (hell, they used to come sit on my lap) took a lot longer to learn that.

My mom definitely didn’t feel comfortable even partially naked with us around. However, my kids are used to seeing both the ex & me in various states of undress. They realize it’s ok as long as it’s family and there’s nothing sexual about it - we all have the same body parts after all.

Yeah, I had to lock the door until they realized I liked “private time”. It became our code for leave me alone dammit, I’m pooping!

Ooooohhhh, that’s what she meant. Nope, still don’t get it. Maybe she should try a huge dose of shut-up-or-make-sense if she’s going to insert herself into a discussion.

Awwww, both couples look so happy. I can’t bring myself to vote one way or the other.

Having had a colonscopy, I can assure you, a gut cleanse is not a “prize” I want to win.

On the other hand, this is the VMAs we’re talking about—who cares?

The first thing out of my mouth before getting into the car would have been ‘take that camera and shove it up your ass’. But then I don’t like having my picture taken - especially while in labor.

Yeah, I could understand if she was involved with the upcoming films but she isn’t. I’d think she’d be promoting Trainwreck on the cover instead of using this gimmick for attention.

I’m glad she’s not like that attention seeking, picture taking Taylor Swift. Geez, Rihanna just goes around doing whatever she wants and is effortlessly cool. It’s not like she knows someone’s going to take a picture or has a professional photographer taking pix of her smoking blunts and stuff.

I wouldn’t paint over them for the world. If I saw this I’d think I’ve been on the internet too long because I keep seeing penises everywhere - then I’d ask “are there penises on your wall?”

I see Les Miz:

Dick pix or it didn’t happen. ;)

To be fair, we HAVE tried to give him back.

Great news for the JLaw stans though.