Joe Biden on Wheel of Fortune would be the greatest event in television history.

[@Dikachu:disqus gets a Whammy for slandering Jeopardy, loses commenting privileges for rest of thread]

Also, anyone who can't beat Wolf Blitzer's score is disqualified to be a candidate.

Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy both make you feel dumb. Jeopardy because you can't get any of the answers, and Wheel of Fortune because you're watching it.

The network has said they want to go in a new direction with their next anchor, and plan to hire someone who doesn't look so young and vivacious when compared to the average CBS Evening News viewer.

We do not hate Vin Diesel.

"And then they realized they were no longer riot grrls: they were riot womyn."

Yes, beans truly are a magical fruit.

For the last time, Boston, not every problem can be solved by rioting.

"So… I lied. I cheated. I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to murder. But the most damning thing of all… I think I can live with it. And if I had to do it all over again - I would. Boyd was right about one thing: a guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the safety of Harlan County.…

The only ranking I'm willing to give him until next week is this: "Raylan Givens is the angriest person most people know. Benjamin Sisko is the angriest person Raylan Givens knows."

And once again we see a notable lack of marksmanship from Boon's useless ass.

And that was the second reference to the Boy Scouts tonight, after ADA Vazquez pulled Michael's Eagle Scout knife out of the box of Wynn Duffy's personal effects.

Wynn's going to sit on that park bench and star in a remake of Forrest Gump.

"How did you know I wasn't some Boy Scout looking for his tent?"

So who's Melissa McCarthy playing in this, Sluggo or Mr. Bill?

"What a bunch of a-holes" is said as a compliment in this version.

"Nothing cums in my face. My reflexes are too fast, I would swallow it." - Crax

"Aaron Wilcoxx as Pecker Quill"

"April O’Neil as Rocket Rachooch"