This is a badly written bill, designed to solve a non-existent problem, which will cause more problems than it purports to solve.

I'm more real than any justification for this bill, and I'm a fucking talking crow amusement park mascot.

It's a trap!

Also, PACKERS!

[Appears in cloud of smoke] I got here as fast I could, I was busy eating lunch.

Done and done. And I mean done!

Going to see him tomorrow night at IU Auditorium, and I fully expect the show to be 2 hrs of righteous indignation and thunderous disapproval of petty bigotry.

It's not that baffling when you know just exactly how stupid of a governor Mike 'Obamacare is worse than 9/11' Pence is.

I would like to formally extend an invitation for Mr. Offerman and Mrs. Mullally to perform a show in my living room, which my religious beliefs say is a sovereign enclave of the more progressive Commonwealth of Kentucky.

“He's still funny, but not 'ha-ha' funny.”

Eh, get back to me when the trip is with Filliam H. Muffman.

If you buy the two Bill Hicks albums you'll get two Denis Leary albums of the exact same jokes for free.

You had me at 'Sean Young's tits'.

I want George R.R. Martin to announce that he's begun working on another series and may never get back to finishing Game of Thrones, just to watch the collective nerd rage burn down the Internet.

This episode really should have been titled "The Revenge of the Four-Kidneyed Man."

Tim Gutterson doesn't care if this is an ice cream shop, he still thinks you should sell beer too.

"To answer your question Boyd, yes I can shoot people other than when they're eating supper."

Having Boyd and Ava's forged identities be "Mr. & Mrs. Ofay" was a great joke on Limehouse's part.

I thought the hat really suited the creeper mustache and Redditor vibe Boone's got going on.

No, he should do a shot-for-shot remake of School Ties.