Listening to Cris Collinsworth can be easily replicated by hitting yourself in the head with a ball-peen hammer.

Yes, but what about compared to Kabletown?

"Comcast Their on demand service is terrible for the most part." FTFY

Apple is the Volkswagen of computers: Small, sleek, underpowered for the price, and originally designed by fugitive Nazi scientists.

I never realized Calvin was a graduate of the Harvard Business School.

Finally, an AV Club-endorsed way to see John Mulaney.

We could call it a Virtual Boy, since it's virtually like having friends.

And it's not even the overseas version with all the hardcore gay sex scenes still in it.

Tragedy? Batman & Robin wasn't that bad.

That's why I watch CBS!

StubHub learned how to do it from watching White settlers.

"StubHub, stay out my territory. I'm the only one allowed to fuck over consumers like this." - Ticketmaster

Heather Has Two Mommies
Coming to Indiana once our governor decides that reading it won't steal his soul.

[Runs into thread out of breath] Sorry, I got here as quick as I could.

I know it's also being written by the comedic geniuses who gave us The Heat, which bodes well for this film.

Every movie could use more Paul Verhoeven, but this one especially needs it.

This movie looks like it's going be on the same level as the Robocop remake. It's not going to be actively terrible, but completely missing any of the spark that made the original great.

Intentionally trolling the Internet and building up ill-will for the remake you're directing is an interesting marketing strategy. Let's just stand back and see how it works out for Paul Feig.

There have to be plenty of cans of meat (or at least cans of meat-like substances) left that can be used instead of raisins in these recipes, so it's starting to look like a deliberate choice on Carol's part at this point.

"It's raisin balls, mint chutney, tomato sauce, and potato chips for mouthfeel."