NPH is a national treasure, i might even look forward watching Oscars.

"We have prisons now filled with guys my age. Sixty-year-old white men in prison who've never harmed anybody"

We lived together for 6 years. As we were breaking up, he said "I never meant for it to get this serious."

2 days before Valentine's day, we're sitting at our local bar and somehow get onto a conversation that basically goes like this "you make me miserable." "omg! you make me miserable too!" "want to go to Red Lobster? I have a gift certificate." "YES." Then we went to Red Lobster for our 'breakup dinner' and ordered the…

My fiancé called to tell that he got married, as I sat on the bed, looking at my wedding gown.

I got this.

Things hadn't been going well with Mr. JackAss for a couple months, but I had decided to stick through it during the holidays. Then, one afternoon, he offered to let me drive his Jeep. I shifted over to the driver's seat as he walked around to the other side. I adjusted the seat, and checked the mirrors as…

This is how my dad broke up with my mom when they were still teenagers. It should be noted that they did get back together, get married, and eventually had a long overdue divorce for which everyone is better off.

Going up, my parents were were divorced and never communicated directly. I got bounced back and forth between them a lot. Always based on what my mom needed. Fuck my social life or grades or stability. If being a parent started to get too hard, she'd ship me off to live with my grandmother or father. She'd get lonely,…

My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)

Once had a girl in high school breakup with me via Word document saved on my family computer, circa 2002. It was saved in a folder she named "Read after Prom" that she created like 5 minutes before we left for the damn event.

One of my exes was into medieval reenactment and at one point bought me a throwing axe, which I got to be pretty good at. When I dumped him, he went to my room and grabbed it, then fell to his knees baring his throat and offering it to me while begging me to "end it now." I laughed so hard I staggered backwards and…

The first boy I ever kissed and my first "real" boyfriend broke up with me via AIM AWAY MESSAGE. He couldn't even be bothered to IM me himself and he put it up for everyone to see. The mid 2000s were a rough time to date.

Did you add the image later? How can they not realize that you are trolling them? You literally illustrate a troll meme in your post.

The fact that people can't tell if you're joking or not is fucking delightful.

The "birthing experience" seemed like a means to an end: the end being a baby, who is awesome, and who I was very excited to meet.

From what I understand, she straight-up refused the surgery until she was completely worn out. Baby was not in distress. He looked like he was ready for a sandwich.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. I've read that c-sections strongly increase the risk of autism.

Yep. It is like the Louis CK stand up about how men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will murder them.

Only a couple times in my life have I asked a woman who was otherwise a stranger for her number. My romantic/sexual encounters have exclusively come through meeting a friend of a friend, and something developing from there.

join the party!